Stephen Henry....Stephen's CTS Journey and BE-YOND. THE journey is L-O-N-G

Delegation Comes

2012-02-14T20:13:00.004-08:00

Today is an important day in my ministry within the Stewart Town Circuit of Baptist Churches.

At 3pm today my stewardship was evaluated. Self assessment is perhaps one of the hardest thing to engage in and one of the areas which throughout College was constantly encouraged.

JBU Delegation 14^th Feb, 2012

Webb Memorial Baptist Church

Worship

Leader: Let us stand for worship

Sentence: God has been waiting. God has been in waiting to share with us as we share one with the other. Let us on this day celebrated with emphasis on love draw near to our God, the one in whom in all begins.

Song of praise: We place you on the highest place

CBPW, # 696, Psalm 118

Prayers of Thanksgiving—one person from each Church will make expressions of thanks to God

Prayer: We rejoice in knowing and believing that nothing can separate us from the love of God—the one who beckons to us in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah, hallelujah, Amen

Reading…..St. John 1: 1-6

Meditation: It all begins with God

Devotion shared by Rev. Stephen J Henry on Tuesday 14^th February 2010 at Webb Memorial on the occasion of JBU Delegation II. Text: John 1: 1-6

Theme: It all begins with God

The sudden shift from Jesus—the God-man to John the man-God sent is significant. It is significant not only for our reflection but also because it is characteristic of the move of redemption initiated by God. This text beautifully weaves the message of the incarnation that is God coming to dwell among us with the message of the invitation—a divine act offered to humanity to be used—sent by God to live out this message among others. In other words this man named John, sent by God was God’s way of inviting humanity to partner with God. What is non-negotiable is the fact which I call us to attend to this afternoon ‘It all begins with God.’

We are told very little about him in this passage except that ‘there was a man sent from God his name was John.’ And yet there are some beautiful and beneficial traits attached to this man sent by God which serve as powerful and spirit-filled pillars for our reflection. Who was this man sent from God?

1. Verse 23 provides an insight of him being the voice. Who is he? He is the Voice of God—He was not his own voice. He was the voice of one crying out in the wilderness. It is noteworthy that the place chosen for this man to cry out was among those in the dark and dreary; those encumbered by the wild and enamored by a sense of bewilderment; those perhaps ostracized from the serene and sacred spaces of the temples and tainted synagogues. This man was sent from God—he had been with God—may this be seen as some time of devotion—some time of earnest spent with the Creator. This makes the voice all the more less of his and more of the Master. For it all begins with God. He is the voice, and the voice bears witness not of self but of God. The voice declares and then the voice disappears.

2. Victim—anyone then as now dares to declare that they have been with God and have been sent from God falls prey to becoming a victim. Such victimization is fashioned by riding ridicules; loud laughter; poisonous pretensions; unfair ; and deadly designations and descriptions. Listen to how the man sent from God is described in Matthew and Mark as ‘one whose garment was made of camel’s hair and wore leather belt around his waist and ate locusts and wild honey’. The reminder is therefore poignant anyone who dares to be a voice of God and hopes to escape being a victim is like a Christian in contradiction. For anyone who comes after me let him deny self take up the cross daily and follow me. Let that one also know that rejoice when you are persecuted for righteousness sake for so was the one before you. In our age of growing self-aggrandizement and self—adulation God is seemingly becoming less of a mystery of more of a myth. John reminds as both voice and victim that it all begins with God. For in the beginning was the Word. John was a voice from God and a victim like the one who sent him. Is the Church prepared—sent by God through the apostleship of the early followed to be the voice even when we are victimized? If so, then the message will become true—the gates of hell shall not prevail.

Who is he? The Voice of God—the Victim for God—the Victor by God. John was sent as the voice that all might believe. His voice was preaching—preaching in the wilderness in the trackless, threatening, wild wasteland. As the victor he kept the attention on the Messiah and not the Messenger.

John’s victory was not to be calculated by the number who fear God because of his preaching but instead by his faithfulness to his belief. His crying in the wilderness; his clamoring for justice; his companionship with the sinners; his Christian commitment to the broken. Who is he? He is the one sent by God—sent by the one in whom it all begins and as such he is one who is victorious.

There was a man sent from God and his name was John. After we have knelt in devotion with the Master, may we once again heed to the one who calls us to become the voice, who though often victimized have the certain hope of victory, for it all begins with God. Let us hold to the inescapable truth that “In the beginning was the Word and God and the Word was with God and dwelt among us’. Amen.

Hymn: There is no love, 728

Prayer

O Lord of eternal knowing and victory, ignite within the bowels of your Church a passion to forever be and remain a stalwart example of love and commitment. Remind us, O great forgiver that it is in giving that we receive. Cause us then to never live without such grace that you have extended towards us. May we never be found guilty of any cause but to have loved too much; forgiven too many; and served you faithfully.

May your Church be your voice crying out by the way she lives. May we too be your witnesses even in the midst of been victimized. May we forever declare that all victory comes from you, forever and ever, Amen.

Welcome and Introduction

Departure

Surprise Birthday Party 2012

2012-02-13T21:48:00.003-08:00

Party Glow!

I have absolutely developed such an appreciation for this story.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

Once upon a time, there was a farmer in the central region of China. He didn't have a lot of money and, instead of a tractor, he used an old horse to plow his field.

One afternoon, while working in the field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, "Oh, what a horrible thing to happen." The farmer said simply, "We'll see." He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village got together and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift.

Everyone's reaction now was, "What a lucky man." And the farmer said, "We'll see."

A couple days later, the new horse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their heads and said, "What a poor fellow!"

The farmer smiled and said, "We'll see."

Eventually, the horse found his way home, and everyone again said, "What a fortunate man."

The farmer said, "We'll see."

Later in the year, the farmer's young boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone in the village said, "What a shame for the poor boy."

The farmer said, "We'll see."

Two days later, the army came into the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer's son had a broken leg, they decided not to recruit him.

Everyone said, "What a fortunate young man."

The farmer smiled again - and said "We'll see."

Moral of the story: There's no use in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. Many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from.

As Fra Giovanni once said:

"Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me... the gift is there and the wonder of an overshadowing presence."

I am having FUN

2011-08-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

I cannot remember when was the last time that I have had so much fun. With five days to go before my vacation ends and I am thrust back into my vocation, I am having fun. The last few days have been some of the best days of my life shared with my wife and persons who God in her wisdom has uniquely placed into our lives.

The Adams of Eden Manor of St. Bess
And Greg and Tina Hazel from Florida who if I were to tell the story we actually thought—or more correctly I thought were from NIGERIA. Nutshell, Silver Sand was our villa though much time was spent at Buena Vista with Sharon and Michael; Zoe and Donavan; Tunde and Donald; Val and Peter.

God has a way of blessing her children. Meeting these people have brought such new perspective to the way that I appreciate life and all with which God has blessed me—blessed my wife and I. ‘

One of the interesting things that happened on Saturday was that the men were playing dominoes and Donovan mentioned that he will be celebrating 29 years of marriage and he has never looked at another woman. WOW, I thought, how honest and how real. I am not sure if he would consider himself a Christian but it was impacting. Challenging! Greg mentioned that I don’t count years that I am still counting days and they all laughed.

Today, Saturday is 442 days.

Lord, thank you for this time of rest and reflection. Thanks for the dance tonight. Thanks for your grace that awaits us in the tomorrows. Amen

How can I forget Normal Norma! Lol.

Stephen

BREAK DI SILENCE--WORLD AIDS DAY

2010-12-01T20:09:00.000-08:00

St. Luke 8: 41-48

Do not disturb. I wish that I was able to send this message to the persons responsibility for desecrating usually peaceful atmosphere of the Stewart Town last Saturday night until 7 am Sunday morning. I wish that I could have held up a sign begging them to stop the violence being committed against the eardrums of Miss Dan, an elderly woman whose heart beats only with the assistance of an expensive—cant to be replaced pacemaker. Or that I could ask them to stop the rape/onslaught being committed by words which do not qualify being called music since they contribute more to noise pollution and the infection of a society already characterized by decadence, lewd behavior and public disrespect for all that is deemed accepted, decent and polite. But I couldn’t—my sense of peace was disturbed all night. I remained restless. It was out of this restlessness that emerged my reflection which I share with us this morning in this semblance of a quiet auditorium. As I reflected on this disturbance it became clear that I was being challenged by this imposition to become involved in ways that would make a difference. The fact is that Christians are called upon to always be among those who BREAK DI SILENCE.
This should not be interpreted to mean that we should make noise and prevent others from resting.
Instead the call this morning to the Westwood ladies, teachers and other family members to ‘break di silence’ is one which invites us—all of us to do all that is in our powers to ensure that justice is served! For too long too many have remained silent while the guilty goes unpunished. The guilty should be punished! The voice of the victimized should be heard. Sometimes this means that the those who are powerful must be prepared to break with the status quo—must be prepared to let loose and deny self of the privileges and the pat on the shoulders from those whose affirmation make them sleep at nights. Christians must disturb when godly justice is being sidetracked. Yes, those who are powerful must speak out. But sometimes it also demands –it forces the voices of the loud and rowdy to be still and be quiet so that the voiceless can be given a voice.

The writer of the story of the woman with the issue of blood is quite detailed and to some disturbing. The Bible says the life of the body is the blood. The woman in our story this morning is one who was literally, losing blood; therefore, she was losing her life. However, she had hope. This HOPE energized her body to get out of her house, to go into the crowd. Jesus was in the crowd. She went into a crowd which could have caused her, her death but she was prepared to make the silence. She was prepared to disturb the established order—and ‘break di silence’ of that which said that she should be stoned. Someone would have shared information and no doubt someone would exclaim ‘informa fi dead’. Yet, she persisted! She persisted until. She never gave up until she got up. Principal Francis, she first went so low to the bottom before she could get up.

Jesus gave her, her healing. We are being called upon within the Westwood family to give her, her voice. A person’s voice is unique. There is something rowdy or cracky; quiet or annoying; something defined and definable about a person’s voice. Sometimes identifying a voice makes the difference in a case of confusion and chaos.

• When girls are raped by men who they know and told that they are loved and should not share this secret with anyone else, they are denied of a voice.
• When mothers are forced to watch their children die from incurable diseases and can do nothing to stop the monster of death, with all possible hope crippled by the scourge of death, such a mother loses her voice
• When honest girls are told to turn a blind eye to truth—you lose your voice.
• When we prevent someone from speaking the truth that they know we deny them of their voice.

Break di silence. Today is celebrated around the world as World Aids Day. Let us break di silence:
• Stigma that is associated with HIV and AIDS and be educated about how to prevent the virus or how to provide for and love someone who has the virus or disease
• Lie that you must participate in illicit or dishonest activities to become popular, be accepted or be promoted among the ranks
• Lie that we God does not extend grace to the guilty who confesses.

May the voice of compassion of Christ our saviour be in us from day to day.
Amen

I belong!

2010-11-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, I feel like a new comer to all this since it has been some time that I have been here. Still I feel as if—I know that I belong. People all over are searching for a sense of belongingness. People are seeking a place to call their own—call it territorial or control freak—in fact call it whatever you may, people are still searching to belong.

Sometimes the feeling of being torn into two places—or there becomes overwhelming. I feel like I belong here in Stewart Town. The ministry opportunities here have been different and delightful; engaging and exciting; liberal and liberating. I feel as if the tools with which I have been provided from the United Theological College as well as the University of the West Indies and the university of Student Pastorates are increasingly becoming useful. Each day I feel more and more that through the power of the Holy Spirit I am being empowered to engage in a ministry which is contextual and relevant. This is liberating!

Oh Lord, help me never to maintain the status quo, but instead by the power of your Holy Spirit help to liberate, from the shackles that bind, even as I am liberated.

How HOLY is COMMUNION?

2010-09-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

Give us this day our daily bread

The Holy communion is unholy without a sense of community. Community is impossible without a sense of unity and without a sense of concern for others. If there is nothing else there is an incurable sense of unity, in the Trinity, incomprehensible though it may be. These are the premise on which the following reflection will be based. The apostle Paul has been accused of many things ranging from a mad man, harsh pastor especially with the Galatians, misogynist (hater of women) and above all chief among sinner. The jury is still out on several of these charges. Still, it is this same Paul who it is believed broke and shared in communion with us the message and importance of the community in the act of communion. It is to this end that he charged some for participating in the ‘love feast’ without concern for the other sisters and brothers.

The community about which we speak is vertical and horizontal. The community is visible and invisible. It is real and imagined. It is that which is and that which is to come. It is Stewart Town and Spanish Town. It is the ‘have’s’ and those who now have because those who had shared out of the abundance—not of their amount but of their love. It is those who are labeled as ‘weird’ and those who are unlean. The community is those who are behind bars and those whose churches and collars; unwise ‘wisdom’ and folly have become their bars. The Johannine words on Jesus’ lips ‘unless you eat my broken body you have no part with me’ [John 6: 53] are challenging and comforting at the same—both engendering some amount of conviction. What’s the challenge? The challenge is for us to be able to accommodate those who are so different that they seem like broken—cursed—dirty—dead bodies. They have become corpses. And at the same time hear the words inviting us to love and eat the body of Christ. We are the body of Christ. These are the body of Christ!
The body which has been broken for us! Yes, these are the ones with whom we have being called and commanded to live, love and eat. The one who are infected and affected; the ones who are annoying and unlovable; the ones who drive us mad and those who unfathomable to us, we drive mad. Eat? Yes! Food is the staff of life. To ‘eat’ these is to allow them to become an indispensable part of our daily existence. It compels us to actualize to the point where to not have contact with them is tantamount to us having died! This should be the feeling which overtakes us when we are not in communion with any such of these. It demands a sense of community which when away from any such a person creates a tear—a literal tear away. Like a cut? No, a tear! For whilst a cut is accidental and sometimes inflicted by others, a tear is self inflicted. The love in this community cannot be left to accident. It must be a deliberate love. To be absent from one should cause a tear, should even cause tears! There must be a sense of community which compels us to love the Lord we meet in the neighbour who is broken by divorce and bruised by the discrimination because of illness. And yet this is the comfort. The comfort in knowing that there is a space for us—all of us who are in one way or another bruised, battered, broken. Jesus, our Great High Priest whose human flesh was broken and bruised so that others might have life, was also bruised so that others who are bruised will find strength in their brokenness and bruised-ness.

This is the communion. This is the sense of community which is shared. Hence my reason for being so frustrated and so upset when I visited a particular police station lock up and was told that for dinner the teenagers, who should be at home with their family, were given ONE SLICE OF BREAD with the coveted commodity called butter. Of course not, anchor! Not even Blue Band! Chiffon?
Where is the community? Where is the justice? Jesus broke bread and gave all to eat. The communion is therefore far more than the sharing of bread. It is the sharing. It is the horizontal sense of community which is communicated because we have had vertical communion. The holy communion is therefore communion because it generates social action. It acts. It transcends that which is seen. The communion therefore becomes holy only when it is followed by acts of kindness, justice and mercy. The communion, in this sense is nearest transubstantiation (in Latin, transsubstantiatio, in Greek μετουσίωσις (metousiosis) means the change of the substance of bread and wine into the substance of the Body and Blood (respectively) of Christ in the Eucharist, while all that is accessible to the senses (accidents) remains as before. That is, it is only when we who are broken and bruised and battered—recipients ourselves of undeserved mercy and justice become channels and conduits of this same grace that Christ is seen within us. It is therefore not our magical formula or tired rhetoric which presents the ubiquitous change. No, it’s bigger than us and our false denominational, Chrsit bereft pride. It is Christ. It is he who himself lived on the margins; slept in borrowed boat; turned over the tables of the unjust comes into our midst—our hearts—partnering with us to make a difference.

O, Lord, lover of little children; mother of the disfranchised and discriminated; protector of the weak and vulnerable; help us to have communion with those from whom the sacred bread of justice has been robbed; with those with whom sacred bread has become scared; and those from whom the bread of justice denied. Amen

Questions

2010-09-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

Ministry offers more questions than answers. This is usually the case when persons are prepared to do the work. It is so easy to fall into the trap of maintenance ministry without even realizing that this has crept upon one’s ministry. Today I was at a Mission Conference with a group of thinking women and men. As Baptist leaders within a specific area of the country we met to engage the minds and see the ways in which God was inviting and challenging us again to respond to the missional call.

I left feeling as if there was more. I left feeling as if there were some questions which were fundamental to the way that I engage in ministry. I asked myself the questions:
1. Which comes first ministry or mission?
2. How do I not get lost engaging in ministry ‘chores’ without engaging the mission?
3. How do I evaluate my faithfulness to the mission without substituting faithfulness for success?
4. How do I respond to the mission items when there are realities that there are resource challenges? Could it be that the mission in which I have enlisted, though Christ-like or is not Christ-ordained and Christ-centered? In other words although there are semblance of Christ-likeness in a mission this does not necessarily mean that this is a mission initiated by Christ and if it is—is it for me—and it is for me now?

And yet mission is expecting. And has been given to the church has her mission.

As the curtains of my eyelids fall, I pause to reflect on day well spent or wasted!
How did I use the gift of this day? Was I a good steward?

O, Lord, may I never be pressured to hide my one talent but may I use it to the best of the ability to serve you by service to your Kingdom here on earth. Amen

Who's that?

2010-09-18T03:59:00.000-07:00

Who’s that?

It’s 5: 30 am and there’s someone in the yard—not my yard—the manse’s yard! And so, I am distracted from the torrent of things which are fighting with the traffic of emotions which co-exist. I rise to see who is it and there she is. There she is! Yes, she is there. There she is at 5: 30 am—yes in the morning in the pastor’s yard. What could she possibly want at this time of the morning when the sun is just coming across the electrifying and lightning and thunder mountains? What could she want? Couldn’t it wait? No! It could not wait for what she wanted—was to give. She came to lay herself bare—naked—sacrificing this time—this precious time to ensure that the front door of the minister was clean. She holds the towel on her shoulder and the basin—more like a bucket in her hand and the broom in the next. She sweeps and sweeps and some more. As I watch her from above—gently moving above her on the balcony—I was touched. Touched by the presence of this servant of God. Not servant leader—just servant. Touched by her commitment to service. Moved by her committed to invisibility.

The church is filled with too few who are willing to serve and yet so many who fight for visibility. How do they suddenly appear?

As I ponder of this I reflect on something I heard recently ‘The Pastor is the servant of God, not the servant of the people’ Hmmmmmm. What hermeneutical approach could be applied to this in light of 1st John 4: 20? Is it not through our service to God’s creation that we express our service to God? If so, then servanthood to God’s creation, including the environment is servanthood to God. Right? Throwing debris through car windows which bear Christians as passengers or Church goers with bumper sticker which reads “Jesus saves” or “God created me” is not only selfish but downright contradictory. There is so much to be learnt. Why do we wish to be God’s servant by not humanity’s—creation’s? Is it pride? Place of prominence with God but now with creation—humanity?

O Lord, Jesus, Servant, teach me again through the lens of this early morning encounter with you that as your servant I am the servant of all your created. Give me a broom and a bucket. May I therefore never seek to dominate but instead to have dominion as you have commanded by your love. Amen.

SKETCH

2010-09-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what I want to say or maybe I am not sure how to say it. I have not blogged, seriously blogged in a long time. I know that I have written stuffs and there have been some time for cursory reflection but I miss the times when I would seriously reflect. There are really many things that I have missed but I can appreciate the differences that have taken place and that which necessitates the change. Some changes are for the good, some long term and some unforeseen and yet some thing which has become real—a reality.

I am no longer a student. I am now a probationer minister serving in Stewart Town Circuit of Baptist Churches in Trelawny/St. Ann. Trelawny/St. Ann since Webb Memorial and Faith are in Stewart and Jackson Town respectively while Keith is in St. Ann. These three churches have become my home—our home—my wife and I—some seventy four (74) years—I mean days. We have been married 94 days and this feels like a life time. There is so much that we are learning. I thank God for this woman of God and for the ways that already she has been a blessing.

O lord, bless my house and may all that is done here and from here be a blessing to others.

The journey continues. The questions amount and the concerns for church and family are there. But the God who has called and commissioned is before us and so we go. Encouraged!

The ministry before me is like a protrait. There are things that are unclear but God is with us perfecting the art of trust and faith through all experiences.

Keep drawing, Lord.

Commissioned

2010-09-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

The reality is that I have been commissioned. There is no doubting that and there is also no doubt that God has been good in the ways that she is experienced from day to day. But what now? What next? Having been commissioned there are questions and responsibilities that come with being commissioned. As the road opens up ahead, I anticipate all that lies await. Like those in the bushes of St. Luke, I go. I go knowing that the Samaritan God is the one who journeys with me in my wounds and worries; I am comforted that the Samaritan God is the one who comes to my--our aid in our moments of confusion and chaos. I am encouraged that the Samaritan God comes when we are unable to make the payments and this same God, revealed self redeeming anf restoring us.

So what? So, having been commissioned I will go, we the Stewart Town Circuit of Baptist churches go! And go! As Servants robes in humility, knowing that we are God's chosen people--called, loved, and kept by and for God.

This is the HOPE which drives us as we go!

Married and Happy

2010-06-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

This is the 9th day since I made the bold step of allowing marrying the love of my life Roshell Tamara. It has been like a dream come through. I still wake at nights and look at her intensely, wondering if this is for real and the more I see that it is the more I fall on my knees.............in PRAISE. Shouts of Hallelujah and Glory easily escape the lips as I give God thanks for this wonderful wife.

Pray with us as we continue to be for this world an example of God's love.

As we continue this journey.........

Peace

2010-06-03T05:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings father,

trust and hope that all is well with you and the wife. What a week we have just had! One of the saddest in the history of Jamaica--the history of humanity. It has been dubbed several things such as "Tivoli Invasion", 'Civil Unrest', 'Dudus Saga' among others. Yet, none really captures the full extent of the atrocities, lies, half truths, excuses, mistakes, lack of moral leadership. It is certainly a sad time. But it is also a time for serious Christian reflection and response. And I think and hope that the Church (all of us) will see God speaking and challenging and calling us to confession. In what ways have we contributed to the creation of this monster? In what ways have we turned a blind eye or refused to declare the Word as led by God? In what ways have we failed to hold our leaders responsible? Have we exhibited the leadership for which we call?

None is exempted. Righteousness must begin at the House of God.

The good thing is that in the midst of it all, God offers us peace. God is there calling and comforting us, as the God of perpetual peace. This is the confidence which survives amidst the inflamed decadence and the rampant disregard for humanity and the rest of God's creation. God comes riding in as a true leader--wounded and yet healing. Peace I give to you.

This is the peace which covered me as I fought to rest last evening. As I fought to make sense of a telephone call and the damage that it was attempting to do to the family. This is the peace which gave me rest as the woman I am waiting to marry assured me in the wee of the morning that God has all things, everything under control. This is the peace, not as the world gives but only as God can give.

Peace.

Feelings

2010-05-28T01:55:00.000-07:00

Jus 15 days to go and the feelings are many, so are the questions. There are still some things which have not been settled and some things which I know will only be and become settled after 'I do'. This still does not heal the wandering sense of emotions which seem to erupt every now and then within me. There are so many of them that only God knows how I remain stable or sane--assuming that I have remained either.

Above all, there is a sense of finally. This has been a long time coming and words are really not enoough or appropriate to express that which lied deep within me. As I keep saying 'I am jus waiting to see what will happen; how things will work for example in the first month to get an idea of how it will all work out. One of the things that I know about me is that I love to be successful in everything that I do. This will be no less. In order for that success to be realised, I am cognisant and prepared to make a concerted effort to make this successful. Harley's "His Needs Her Needs' has been most interesting, yet challenging. This is the theory which forces the praxis. For example, I am liking these days to sport a bale but this is not loved by the one I love in the same degree that I do. What do I do? Well my need is to look good and feel good about myself. At the same time if this look and feel good will not cause my love to grow then there is a greater need which should be considered--herein lies her needs. The needs which must be always respected and as much as possible honored. Well, 15 days ahead and we will see how the head will go or ROLL. lol.

Feelings are sometimes like cancer they eat away at you without your knowledge. Yet even at times when you are aware of thier presence they still eat away at you. Like now. Feelings are like cancer. They come in different types--breast and prostate.

Oh Lord, on this evening with the showers will run off this St. Mary roof top may my soul be refreshed and my heart pound with the assurance that you are with me, even though I walk through the aisles of my minds..........

Money

2010-05-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

Why do we believe that money can solve the world's problem when in the first instance in many cases money is the cause of these problems? We live in a world that is divided and fragmented; one in which there is constant fight to achieve even at the expense of others; of relationship; even at the expense of love. We live in a world in which there are too many and too much of self and the others who make the realisation of this self possible are invisible pawns.

Equity is what is what this world needs top understand and demonstrate. There is a need to exercise social gospel. As I watched the 'news' about th events which unfold in West Kingston I am appauled at so many things. There are so many things which seeing them would make one believe that we are in some other part of the globe. It still comes across as a movie, or something that is usually associated THERE and not HERE. There are so many cries for peace and restoration. So many are calling for justice and cessation of the decadence and decay which is eroding any sense of humanity which remains. If money could solve it all then there would be less bloodshed. Dudus would have paid for all to be 'free' or Dudus would have given all their freedom without demanding payment in other unjust means.

Money is not all. Former Prime Minister and former MP for West Kingston Edward Seaga on the Jamaican program "Impact with Cliff Hughes" last evening stated that this is one of the points which present leader of Government Brauce Golding has missed. He laments the fact that money can never replace the care and love which drive people. If only Bruce were the only one who was so deceived. He is not. There are so many with whom you have travelled and from whom you expect nothing short of love--never to be relegated to what they can do for you with cash. What happens when the cash runs out? And it will--our present recession has proven this.

I wish that they could understand that all that is needed in these trying and emotional days that linger is not money but meaningful friendship which does not hide behind or boast ahead of perishable.

Oh Lord, may I never become so lost that I am unable to return to your love, even after I have lost all the materila treasures of this fragmented and divided world.

Words are NOT enough

2010-05-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

Words are not enough to describe what I want to say or how I am feeling. There are so many things that I want to say; so many questions that I still have unanswered and just when you think that you can trust you relaise something new; something different; something even more scary than you already knew about.

Why does this have to be so difficult? Why are there hidden and unspoken vows when really and truly all that is hidden and unspoken are really not worth it all? Why so much pain to self and others when you profess that you love? Why lie?

I have searched so many dictionaries for answered; so many different languages; and still al to no avail since there is no way that I can explain away the hurt; the pain; the mistakes that have been made by others; by me; for me to me, and yes me. Words are not enough to describe how I am feeling and even though I know this I still try. I try to drown myself with words only to find that they are still woefully unable to save me. At least I think that I still want to be saved. By whom?
From what? To what?

The thoughts in my heads are so many. I am been driven crazy and no alumni, group, clan, creed, love, lodge, friend seem to be able to save or help me. Maybe I am just being spoilt. But maybe I am allowed to be spoilt at least this once. Afterall I have always been there fore otheRs who are allowed to be spolit, knowingly. Yet I never complain. Why can't I be afforded the similar courtesy wh\ithout feeling as if I am fighting for it.

There's no time for a pity party. No time for a divorce. NO time for a breaking of the vows. None of that.I will not have it. I will be no party of it.
Words are not enough still............

GIVE yourself a chance to RECEIVE

2010-03-03T06:05:00.000-08:00

With just SEVENTY (70) days to go before leaving the walls of the HOLY WOODS and some 101 days to other BIG events in my transition, I pasuse to reflect on all that I have received. This is important since so many of us find it so difficult to receive without the tempation to REPAY.

Enjoy the read.

Texts: Acts 20:35/Matt. 10:8
Theme: Take Time To Receive/Give yourself a chance to receive

“In everything I did I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)

“Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely you give.’ (Matt. 10:8)

Where in the Bible are these words said by Jesus? These words, penned by the writer of Acts, are often repeated and attributed to Jesus. According to Redactive and narrative criticism these words put on the lips of Jesus come closest to Jesus’ expression found in the Gospel according to Matt. 10:8 ‘Freely you have received, freely give.’ (What is the tense of the have received—is it that it is a continuous tense and hence a reminder that we are able to give ONLY because God continues to give to us?) Each passage speaks to a giving-receiving relationship. These passages read together might provide appropriate insight for the ongoing reflection. What do they tell us about God and to what Godly lifestyle are we as God’s children being invited to respond? The context in Matthew is the commissioning of the disciples as emissaries/missionaries into God’s world. The command was for them to go and help and heal; give and receive. It is therefore essential that giving be understood as having a component of receiving inasmuch as receiving is also an act of giving. The one who receives equally participates as a giver as she or he extends her or himself to another making self vulnerable to participate in this relationship. In the same way the one who gives is also receiving since in giving she or he is invited to become the recipient—the receiver of someone’s gracious act of acceptance—the receiver of someone’s joy. There is no giving without receiving and no receiving without giving. There is a symbiotic relationship between both giving and receiving.

This is important for all to hear and especially a word of challenge to those in professions that constantly demand that they give. Give, give and give more and give in excess is the seductive campaign of advertisers and marketers! Pastors and student pastors are not immune to succumb to the alluring temptations. We are NOT excluded! How easily we become so addicted to giving that we find it hard to receive! How easily we become addicted to the attention that giving attracts to us that when it’s our time to be the recipient of someone’s gift we lack the needed humility and maturity to graciously accept? Too easily we become like those followers who murmured as Jesus’ feet were washed and anointed by the woman who bought & brought her expensive perfume and poured it at Jesus’ feet. We lack the humility to accept—we become too caught up and puffed up in the grandeur of giving; so much so that we lose sight of the unseen; inner joys and virtues which receiving promote. It’s about NOT always caring about having to give that we are ROBBED of the joy receiving. Instead it is allowing ourselves to be ministered unto even as Jesus himself was ministered unto by women, children and sinners who gave unto and were loved by him.

Jesus in Matthew 10, in the less dramatic of the two Commission records entreats the disciples, and us today to receive. The challenge to go—go—and take nothing with you, as you go to minister certainly indicates the deliberate call to humility—humility to receive and NOT only to give. Humility to receive from those who you do NOT know and who you perhaps will never be able to repay. You might never see them again. Hear these words ‘freely you have received, freely you give’. The text addresses the temptation of all those who may see giving as an opportunity to gain for themselves. It makes it clear that we give NOT in order to receive but because we have already received. ‘Freely you have received, freely you give.’

Woe to those who give when the lights are on; woe to those who give simply because the cameras are flashing. The challenge is for us to NOT get caught up in always giving—giving to those who can give back to us; give while we will be seen by the ‘big wigs’—even when this giving is to the Work of Christ. For it we give only because of the way that our giving will cause us to receive then we truly haven’t given. Instead we have used God as a scapegoat for our own self aggrandizement! We have use God’s gifts to us for self gratification while demoralizing instead of empowering our sisters and brothers.
It is more blessed to give than to receive when understood within the context of healing and helping; giving and receiving removes all pretense of the receiver being at the mercy of the giver; or the giver being more important than the receiver! It is more blessed to give is an acknowledgement that in giving one receives and that and ONLY that makes it more blessed. The one who gives her or himself to someone’s mercy and so receive from her or him is more blessed. There must always be a consciousness that the giver is also a receiver. It is NOT a dismissal of the receiver nor an elevation of the giver!

Let us therefore affirm the following:
L: Until we have no problem receiving
R: We will NOT be able to truly give
L: Until we have no problem receiving
R: We have NEVER truly given
L: Until we have no problem receiving
R: Our giving is without credibility
L: Freely we have received
R: Freely we give.

As we continue to reflect during this Lenten season, may we forever be mindful of our need for prayer and praise; to forgive and be forgiven; rest and receiving. I challenge us—only those who are able to receive without succumbing to the temptation to give will ever be able to accept God’s gracious gift of salvation. Amen

2010-03-03T06:03:00.000-08:00

A letter to the Church in Sardis

2009-10-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

Reflection for Students’ Association
October 29, 2009
Text: Revelation 3: 1-6

Read Text
Pause

I wish to reread the text in light of the reflection to share with us gathered here for this important meeting.

To the President of the UTCWI Students’ Association in Jamaica write:

These are the words of she who holds the Caribbean seas in her hands, as the mother who refuses to abandon the child facing starvation because of abandonment of her lovers. I know that you are facing ecumenical challenges as many continue to wean themselves from the support of this Holy Place. I know your deeds; I see how you live together but I know your deeds you have a reputation of being active and alive, but you are dead. Wake up. Wake up too much ease in Zion. Strengthen, strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your responsiveness to your responsibilities acceptable in the sight of God and humanity. Remember, remember therefore what you have received and heard; remember the traditions and the practices of old. Do not allow them to die. Remember the work of Liselle and Cherice; Mark Christmas and Jeffrey Shuttleworth; remember the labour of Cherine Abraham and Seguneo as they gave birth to ideas of leadership and service worthy of emulation. Remember the words of Mikie Roberts and the counsel of Claudel Ziepphre. Let not the work of Nevin Lewis be seen in vain. Obey them and allow them to instruct you, and how you live and lead. Put away yourselves for a change and allow that which is tested and proven to robe you. Do not be fooled or troubled by your human robe but seek the robe of humility and honesty, integrity and simplicity, unity within community. Do not only attend meetings when you are involved or will be seen or heard. Remember the Pharisees. Repent. Wake up, wake up too much ease in Zion. Sound the beating of the rhythm. Sound the warning alarm. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief in the middle of the day while you are still in classes. I will come and you will not know at what time I will come. Be always prepared in the same way that you carefully and meticulously prepare for a graded presentation or a Denomination clinical service. For I WILL come.

But note, there are still a few students and leaders in UTCWI Students’ Association who have not soiled their clothes but have spared no chance in getting their hands dirty. They do not only say but they live their manifesto; they do not only plan activities but they participate in the same and are present even when they are not directly involved. They love community. They love me. They work with me. They are worthy. They are worthy/faithful not because they are different from others but because they have committed to live and serve differently. They give of themselves as they give worth to me in all that they do. In other words they worship The Spirit and the Truth in the way in which they live. Only few live this. He who serves and serves faithfully will be like them dressed no longer in white but in servant leadership. They are douloi. You remember— don’t you? That douloi are those who are willing to walk in the dust, eat the dust—the dirt and live among those for whom life in the dust has become a forced and unpleasant reality of oppression and subjection. UTCWI, I will never erase their names from the book of life—their memories and the memories of their sisters and brothers will be remembered for years to come. Records will pass away but the memory of the sound and solid Christian leadership will resound forever. You who serve watch. Who you follow, watch even closer and spare nothing in enhancing the service they give. Remember the world in which we live revolves. I am He who was and is and is to come.

Those students and chief servants among them who have ears to hear let them hear these words, declares the very Logos, the Sophia. Amen.

Today I CRIED

2009-10-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

Today I cried.

I cried because of the pain that I sometime bear to be me.

I cried because of the uncertainty of who is me

I cried because of the certainty that I sometimes hate the me

I cried because of the pain of the uncertainty

I cried because of the uncertainty of the certain

I cried because I feel like a bird locked in a cage and yet afraid that soon very coon I will be released from these chains.

I cried because like the enslaved of our Caribbean islands who were released from the shackles, I too became afraid of the freedom--the expense, the pressure to now choose and live and let others live.

I cried.

I cried.

I really cried.

I'm tired of crying.

And then I heard the words 'placed' on the lips of Jesus "Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.'

I'm still crying.

I am still.

I am

I

Prophet

2009-10-08T15:31:00.000-07:00

There are so many things that are happening at this time in the world. It seems to me that my own life is the world. Issues of Semenya, IMF, Francine Nijimbere (who after the death of her husband was raped by his brother and impregnated. Who told her to give birth to a girl. Because of this fate and the injustice which pervades the patriarchal system he CUT off both her arms. See the internet for further information.)These are but some of the world happenings and still there are tsunamis, floods, tornadoes, killing, hunger, corruption and the list goes on. Where does one find a place of refuge in all of this? Where does one find space for rest and relaxation? To whom do we turn in a culture that is dominated by individualism or genuine desire to find someone else with whom to debrief and share? There are some of the questions which flood my world as I seek to make sense of that which is happening and that which is STILL not happening.

Even with the uncertainty surrounding these questions I am certain that diligence will bring some amount of reward. And so even in this world and the world that exists within I continue to seek answers to all these and other unspoken/unwritten questions.

I continue to reflect. I preached my FINAL YEAR sermon at UTCWI chapel yesterday. If nothing else I was made to realise that I am a final year student--just for standing there.

I have had much controversy surrounding the Benediction and the affirmation.

Let's share them:

Leader: May the God of Lewin Williams who worked towards
honoring the inalienable humanity of females and males work within you the passion towards this end
All: Amen
Leader: May the examples of Jesus, Liselle and the bent woman so challenge and engender in you the love to never discredit the heritage of all—Rastas, Muslims, and Christians alike
All: Amen
Leader: May the Spirit who inspired Hyacinth and Margaret Porete; Nanny and Madda Hall; Rosemary Ruether and Jacqueline Cooper so enable and empower you to keep, practice and work towards Hope, even when we are at a crossroads.
All: Amen
Three-Fold Amen

Affirmation:

AFFIRMATION (adapted and amended from Confessions of Faith)
Leader: We believe in God
People: Who created women and men in God’s own image; who
created the world and gave both sexes the care of the earth.
Leader: We believe in Jesus
People: Child of God, chosen by God, born of the woman Mary; who listened to women and stayed at their homes, who looked for the Kingdom with them, who was followed and supported by women disciples.
Leader: We believe in the same Jesus
People: Who healed a woman on the Sabbath, who spoke of God as a woman seeking a lost coin—as a woman who swept, seeking the lost.
Leader: we believe in the Holy Spirit
People: As she moves over the waters of creation, and over the earth; the woman spirit of God, who created us and gave us birth and covers us with her wings.
All: We believe in the wholeness of God—in whom all are equal.

The journey is indeed long and there are so many things to be, see, solve, or attempt to solve, to question--to be. We live in a world, even as a world of differences and indifferences

The journey continues.....................

What!

2009-09-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

What should I say and what I am really being asked to reflect on tonight? There are so many issues and so many questions; so many concerns and fears and yet there is so much to celebrate and for which to be thankful. My heart then is overwhelmed and my songs are songs of joy mixed with songs of hope for that which I know will never really become a reality. I know that some days have their moments of deep longing for the unknown—forbidden—dreaded and yet there are other days when all that the heart desires is that which one has and the joy which it brings. I continue to give God thanks for the feelings—feelings of confusion and sense of nothingness which I sometimes feel being thrust upon me and from which I try to hide. Sometimes I feel as though the Augustinian spirit continues to ride the life out of me. There are other times when it seem as if there is no such spirit and all there is—is me and my thoughts and desires. Far from being wayward as the world or church would have us—me to believe.

What should I say and what I am really being asked to reflect on tonight still seem like a puzzle. Even as I pause here I think of Natoya and Norlene whose been away from UTC must be trying. May they find the source in community as possible in the community of the ‘Trinity’.

I pray for Frantz, Gary, Evan and Larius. May something that I do each day be a testament of the love of God which surpasses all human errors or selfish ambitions.

I continue to ……………

PRAYING

2009-09-06T22:58:00.001-07:00

It has been a while since I have prayed the way that these days have compelled me to. The Kairos is UPON us. There is much darkness to dispel. Jesus, the Light of the world has come to share his light by the way that he lived......and died.

I pray for Evan, Gary and Frantz..........

Lord, may those (WE) who come behind you follow your faithfulness.

The journey continues.

Reach Out and Touch The Lord

2009-08-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

Reach out and touch the Lord as he passes by,you'll find he's NOT too busy to hear your heart's cry, he's passing by this moment your need to supply, reach out and touhc the Lord as he passes by. These are the words of one of the most loved and sung 'prayer chorus' of all times.

We find that it is mostly sung immediately before some intercessory prayer. Well, this morning after breakfast with my best friend from UTC who should be getting married in two weeks, he shared something with me. Well, you know that I am always asking, as Rev Garry Knowles would annoyingly asked ‘What’s the theology of that song?’. It was not until after the Rev Knowles left the sacred walls of UTC that this question pierced my heart and performed open heart surgery on my theology. The things is that the songs that we sing unwittingly reveal our theology. Our theologies are revealed by the songs that we sing. This is dangerous. It is dangerous since we sometimes sing things that God will not, has not and cannot live up to since it is against her nature so to do.

Reach out and touch the Lord is one such song. My friend told me that after visiting a shut in member who has Alzheimer’s and singing that famous line ‘he’s passing by this moment your needs to supply’, she responded ‘non, no, no He’s not passing by anywhere. God is not going anywhere. She then proceeded to sing ‘He is standing by this moment your needs to supply.’ Isn’t that profound? It surely is. The knowledge that even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death that God is with us.

Today, I had a freak accident which almost broke my neck. I was in the back of a car—no seatbelt. Sometimes we treat life the same way. We go around wearing no safeguard and letting down our guard.

O God, giver and preserver of life, we thank you that you’re always need us—in life and at death. In good and bad; when we stray and make you sad. Forgive of our sins as we forgive those who have wronged us—as we forgive those who we have wronged. Amen.

FROM THE SHADOWS

2009-08-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what I want to say or where I should say it but I know that there is something to say. If I know nothing else well I know that facebook is NOT the place for it to be said. I am not even sure if I can be honest and say it since for some time now I have not taken the time to be honest with myself and scold or congratulate myself for anything that I have done. There are so many questions that are still at the forefront of my mind—so many thoughts and so many feelings and emotions. There are so many things that the past year has brought to me and so many things that even I had took unto myself. I’ve hated some of these times and things even though I have enjoyed with mixed emotions some of the same. I have been hurt and burnt by some. Yet I keep lying myself to be burnt. I feel so weak and so powerless and yet I know that I have the power; to think, to see, to breathe and love and love and chose not to love. I have the power.

I feel like I am living in a shadow. A shadow which sometimes does NOT appreciate that I exist without the said shadow.....But ye thou I walk thru the valley of the shadows I will fear NO EVIL. NO not one. No not one.

I feel like I have been too giving and yet expecting nothing though when nothing is returned I expect that something even THANKS should have been given. Sometimes we wash but never really expect that we will have to iron. Thank God for Miss Mac and Daisy.

I am now ‘home’—it use to be.

Even as I pause to reflect on the past ten weeks I am in conflict. Conflicts about the service that I have given and the service which I have lived. Conflict about the months and weeks ahead and conflict about how weak I have felt and fallen and might fall in months ahead. My head is all FOOLED up.

God, where the FOOL are you?

Emancipation Still Comin'

2009-07-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

As we sit on the brink of the anniversary of the emancipation of the enslaved in Jamaica and other 'Caribbean' islands within the West Indies, the Community met at Mount Carye Baptist Church to celebrate. The following is the epilogue which I shared with those gathered. Enjoy. It is still coming...........

Inspite of all the work that has been done to break the shackles that have bind us, there is still an undeniable sense that many of us are still not free. Idris Hamid, a Trinidadian theologian and writer wrote a book entitled ‘Emancipation Still Comin’. In this book Hamid laments that as Caribbean people we have not yet fully recognized what full freedom means nor are we fully prepared to do the necessary work to achieve it. As recipients we have not built on that which we have received. Not all of us have been faithful to appreciating the work of the trail blaizers. And so we continue to wrap ourselves in European garb without recoginising that in doing so we continue to reject our true identity while perpetuating, deepening the wounds which we inflict in the wounded skin of our own Black African Culture. Emancipation Still Comin’ since instead of singing songs written by Caribbean people we continue to mimick the Europeans who worked at all cost to ensure that they looked or sounded nothing like those who they considered to be inferior or back ward, whose just happened to be us. Even worse, we sound horrible as we mimick and we deny ourselves of our natural rhythm—seeing it as devilish or inferior. In doing so we have become oppressors of ourselves and have sadly began to become sympathetic with our oppressors. We have removed the shackles yet we have retained the trappings. We have replaced the whips with words of inferiority. Emancipation Still Comin’ until Jamaica is seen as a place to be invested in instead of other. Emancipation still Comin’ until we Stop fight our neighbor or deceive our brother. Emancipation Still Comin’ until we say no to the lie which dictates that if you’re Black step back, white stick around. Emancipation Still Comin until we refuse to see a green card as greener grass

Freedom is NOT free, nor can we escape the consequences of being free. The sweat and blood of our foreparents have bought us the freedom which we enjoy but there is still a far way for us to go. There is still work for us as Church to do.

When we think about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ we hear the similar sentiment being echoed ‘Emancipation Still Comin’. Yes, although we have been made free having confessed of our sins and professed of our faith in Jesus Christ, we are this evening being called to hear again that Emancipation Still Comin’. Emancipation Still Comin’ as we recognise that we continue to sin and continue to exhibit acts of unrighteousness instead of godly living. Emancipation Still Comin’.

As we sit and reflect on this the threshold of the 171st anniversary of the emancipation of the enslaved within Jamaica; as we think about the sense of jubilation which must have flooded the air on 31st July 1838; and tremble as the horrors which undermined they humanity as well as spoke less of the humanity of the oppressors are remembered; let us break free. Break free from the guilt and pain. Break free from the horror and shame. Break free from the bitterness of the past and hear the words of Idris Hamid Emancipation Still Comin’. It is the embedded doctrine of the Baptist Church best described as ‘The Already and the Not Yet’. It is the recognition that something has happened but there is something more that is coming. There is something more which is to come. Emancipation Still Comin’—for all of us for there is still more of us on which God is still working. Emancipation Still Comin’ for there is still more of us which must submit to God’s command so that God can work on us. May we never forgot the price for our freedom. May the blood of the unsung and unknown heroes never become unsung or unknown by virtue of the indifference which marks our living. May we never lose sight of the heritage we are called to share with others as we work to realize the Emancipation Still Coming. Amen

Punch in your name

2009-05-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

This evening I was browsing the internet for the name of a Caribbean stalwart. I found it. I then decided that I would enter my name, denomination and nationality just for the fun of it. Believe it or NOT, my name was there and so were two articles concerning me; one from the Baptist World Alliance and the other from a 2004 conference. I had been asked to write a reflection on the experience.

I thought that I would share this as I was surprised by the level of information at my fingertip. I was also challenged to think about what will be there concerning me in years to come—whose lives would I have impacted and who would I have positively influenced? As I reflected on it my brain asked me to think about the ultimate question ‘How are you seen by God who needs no internet to know who you are?’

It is NOT meant to be Christian or esoteric but instead meant to be a call for introspection. While we remind open to the criticisms of others it is equally important to be critical of self. It is in honest suspicion of self that self will learn honesty and humility.

I have stopped searching the internet, but the SEARCH of SELF has just begun.

The journey continues.....................

Socialism and the Christian GOSPEL

2009-04-17T12:55:00.000-07:00

Greetings James,

It has been quite some time now and I know that you must be busy as you prepare for exams and all. I however hope that even in this busy state that you have found some time for you and that the family continues to enjoy the wealth which you have to share with them as husband and father. Greet them all for me.

I want to share with you what I have been doing over the last ten days. I have been in Cuba. In fact I am writing this email from Cuba.

One of the striking things that has confounded and embarrassed me is the level of socialism and sense of pride and justice and equity that characterises this Caribbean country. In a wolrd that is poisoned by consumerism and capitalism here lies an island where the LIVED motto and reality is COMMUNITY above SELF. I have been appauled by such demonstrations. In an age that believes and preaches that one must be a part of the GROUP so that we will NOT suffer from identifty crisis here lies a place—by herself hardly moved by globalisation and the threats that it emits. Yet she remains comfortable and as an exmaple of what it means to remain resolute in one’s convictions and comfortable in being the one who leads by example, if this means be ostracied. In all of this I have been compelled to reflect on the role that the Church has to play in all of this—have WE lost our sense of prophetic voice because we too have become so capitalist and self absorbed? Have we moved away from the essential tenets of the Gospel of liberation and bringing Good News to people and setting the captives free? If we haven’t moved away—though I am convinced that we have—in what ways do we set the captives free and offer sight to the blind? In what ways have we demonstarted that which we have been ardent partners of?

Do you know that with a populationof some 11 million that this small island continues to offer monthly rations to all CITIZENS so that eveyone has a bite to eat like Jesus did with the feeding of the 5, 000. Could there be something new that we could learn from these who have been ostracised because they are different and because they are schooled and governed by a different ideology and philosphy and THEOLOGY? They have put me to shame in the same way that it was the Samaritian who showed loved to the Jew who was beaten and left to die on the street side. Where else do we hear that those suffering from HIV and AIDS produce seven of the ten leading medicines? Furthermore, name one place where we can find a country that shows less discrimination to those affected and infected. I have been confounded and yet also confused because of the ways in which capitalism has been successfully packaged and sold to the masses.

But, NO MORE. This gospel of liberation must be preached and practiced if true humanity will be seen and recognised and embraced in all persons.

What about me? You? Those with whom we talk each day? What about those who are seen as traitors simply because they espouse ANOTHER a DIFFERENT theology which though sensitive—sensible?

It has been nine days so far in Cuba and yet the scars with which I will leave are indelible.

Socialism works for equity and not so much equality since an egalitarian society might be an euphoric experience on this side of the jordan. But even as it works for this equity it realises that it does so in the realm of the Kingdom of God for this is the Kingdom where justice and peace will roll down. Would one not therefore be correct in postulating a view that suggest that the Church must take a greater and closer look on the relationship between socialism—as demonstarted and lived in Cuba and the Christian gospel as preached across the world? Will there be space for capitalism?

Is the Church not be called to make a hard but necessary decison.

My brother and friend, the real question in essence is Socialism and the Christian Gospel—friends or foes?

La paz.

Calvin, choices and Creation

2009-03-18T16:11:00.000-07:00

I know. I know that I have been away for too long and it feels as if the distance that has been created between myself and my friends here online is so wide for time to gap. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the opportunity to pause and sit and reflect on so much that has happened, is happening and might happened.

Last week was Founders' Week here at UTCWI, Jamaica and what a wonderful time it was as together we met to discuss whether we should bury or praise Calvin. Of course, the question for me still remains "Should we unbury Calvin." While I think that the presentations were good I am still repulsed by much of what was said or at least is attributed to have been said by Calvin.

In light of this allow me to share this reflection which I shared at Baptist Students' Retreat which ended last week.

Hope that you will enjoy. Even more I hope that we will be able to engage in meaningful and thought provoking discussions. Let's hear the first half of that reflection:

Here goes:
What was God doing before she made the heaven and earth? (pause)

Augustine in his Confession asked ‘if God did nothing why is it that God did not continue in this way ………forever? Augustine continues by postulating that ‘if any new motion arise in God, or a new will is formed in him, to the end of establishing creation which he had never established previously….then God is not truly eternal. Yet if it were God’s sempiternal will for the creature to exist, why is not the creature sempiternal also?’

While, I do not wish to go all the way with Augustine in his syllogism which results in dethroning the eternal existence of God, I wish to engage us briefly as creatures of creation to reflect on the theme: God at work—people under construction creatively constructing.
I believe that as sons and daughters of a great Creator we have created with the precious and priceless Imago Dei—the image of God burnt and buried in every fibre of our being so that we his creation will become co-creators. This is inescapable.

The genesis story is one the richest biblical narrative which offers so much to cultivate for good use—if only we would be willing to root up our fallow grounds. We meet God, through the eyes of the narrator (s) as one who is creative, compassionate and casual. God is cool, calm and cucumber but equally depicted as one who confronts, conforms and commissions—even if this commissioning is as a result of the sin of ourselves of others. The narrators painstakingly weave an image of God who is involved and moved by the action of those whom he created—sometimes even seemingly disturbed by actions which he KNEW nothing about. Their response surprises the creator. There is nowhere in the drama that God is remotely seen as passive, transcendent, aloof and unmoved. Instead, God is intimately at work with creation. The anthropomorphic expressions of God walking in garden and talking with his created orders evidence not only an involved God but also an involved creation. God is at work in creation and God calls humanity to partner with him in taking care of that which has been created. Woe to those who misinterpret ‘have dominion’ to mean do as you like for your own disaster and that of the community will be the righteous and equal indignation which shall beset you. Woe! It is out of love and respect for God’s created order why God has chosen by God’s goodness and power to partner with humanity. It was love that drove God to create humanity and a same love exemplified in the self emptying—the Kenotic experience. Not sin but love. God loves us and calls us into partnership to exhibit a similar love for creation. Is there a greater challenge for humanity today than for us to be loving to God’s creation? Indeed, we are imperfect people, not by definition sinners but by our actions whose lives are still under construction. Who with even minute knowledge and love of God deny that this is a story of the power of love and not the love of power? God is not this power hungry, despot, who arbitrarily intervenes but one who is ever present, ever at work and ever inviting us to partner with him. Let us be careful that we do not depict the God who we espouse in the ways that we treat, mistreat or ill-treat people, our environment and all that’s around us. It is a God who continuously gives, even at the expense of being disappointed, disgraced and disregarded. There is no certainty that those who leave home will return. It is a mirror of the love that God has for humanity, even as we sit under construction. As we go under construction so too does God.

Allow me to suggest that it is this love which extends within and knits the story of the Loving Father commonly misrepresented by the title the Prodigal Son. Nonetheless, I believe that there is more for us to do that sit and wait. We know the story very well. We remember that the text ends in suspense with the elder son and the father outside. Will the elder son return inside? Will the son stop being so self centered and start to again think again about the well being of the community—the family? There is an openness which is too deep to be ignored. I wish to use this openness of the text to suggest that the God who we serve is ONE who is open, moved and condescends in love. One who is moved and touched by our infirmities. If the metaphor of the woman who searched and the shepherd who left the 99 for the one are true of this father then there is some confidence that this father will also spend the night in the dew to encourage, deliberate and motivate this son—in essence he will love him back to his place in the house. Such is the love of a God who is everything but immutable and unmoved by the affection of his or her people. It exemplifies the power of love and not the love of power.

Let us decide if we will return to Calvin’s grave and unbury him? Let us decide if wisdom will be embraced from (Paul Tillich) Tillichian understanding of the purpose of theology as one; to share the Christian message and two interpret it in every generation. “It is the Calvinist model in which the omnicausality of God is central and in which God is seemingly the solo performer”,( according to Pinnock). Should we hold fast to the Calvinist’s God of punitive authority and of a metaphysical nature—all powerful and lover of power? Pinnock also posits that “Calvin seems to have taught that God wills and determines everything that happens in the world. He writes “whatever happens in the universe is governed by God’s incomprehensible plans’. According to Calvin nothing is more absurd, than that anything should happen without God ordaining it. God regulates all things according to his secret plan which depends solely upon itself. Such Calvinistic hermeneutics of God’s relationship with humanity robs God of his most admirable characteristic; that of love; as well as denies humanity of their most precious and ingenious gift—the capacity to share in and extend God’s love. God is a covenant God who formed and transforms lives through partnerships. Yes, we are people under construction but we do so with a sense of creative involvement; with a sense of worth and awareness of that worth without being overcomes with pride and self importance. We need the constructive process to ensure that we remain grounded instead of gruesomely uncompassionate.

May I suggest then that as we gather on this mountain top to meet that we start to think again about God at work? May I once more, in this reflective experience invite us to rid ourselves of the fixations on which we have developed our theological, Christological and soteriological and ethical positions rooted in colonial and imperial garb which no longer fix? In others words, let us grasp the vision and embrace the opportunity to challenge ourselves to critically reflect on some of the position to which we cling. We cannot grasp with a closed fist, we must like God be OPEN.

It might just be the time for us like the elder son to have our beds shaken. It might be useful that as we stand on the threshold of another retreat that we ask ourselves some hard questions which we have evaded for much too long. Yes, we are people under construction and this is what keeps us going. We know that we are incomplete; that we are fragile and easily broken and so we are prepared to as we go under construction creatively engage the PROCESS. A process of thinking, trying—failing only in as much as having never ever tried.

God at work: People under construction creatively constructing. May this be the mantra of our reflection as we continue to reflect……….

See you as we continue on this our journey.......

DAY 146 NEW DAY NEW BEGINNINGS

2009-01-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

I did not leave my camera in Indy, but it seems as if I have left the ease to the Internet and the ability to quickly upload the pictures. I will upload the completed version of today's reflection, but for now I wish to point out the absolute shock that I am in as it relates to the sub-human standards under which some of our servants live. I was appalled.

DAY 145 WELCOME HOME

2009-01-13T20:48:00.001-08:00

These were the words that greeted me last week as I arrived at the airport. I was happy to be home and hearing these words only served to increase the excitement that I tried to hide and control. ‘Welcome Home.’ Tonight as I think about these words I think about them in light of something else that I heard—something that I heard this week; in fact two things. One; the announcement that Digicel would be ‘laying off’ some 450 workers from across the Region. Two; the announcement that the Govenor General Sir Kenneth Hall resigned owing to ill health. But what does all of this have to do with my welcome home greeting? First, as I spoke with one of my friends tonight he mentioned the imminent redundancy rocket that lurks around the corner about to hit workers out of a job—the very foundation will be removed from beneath some, especially in this socio-economic climate whose married to the political arena cannot be ignored or overlooked. Everyone is feeling it and none can escape it in the same way that none can miss the outright disrespect and disregard that those who announce some couped resigned of the GG. Is it that we are so dumb that we will be unable to see through the brilliance of whoever decided to use ill health as an excuse? It would serve us well to be reminded that we should be careful of the things that we ask for or ask for others especially since we are living in a revolving world. Though the earth is not the center of the Universe, as the Aristotelian conception of the Universe would have us to believe, it would be useful to remember that what goes around comes around. RETRIBUTION is a serious dis-ease and it is more cancerous that a putative ear ailment.
As I worried about the security of my friends job he muttered “this is one time that I would not mind being left behind.’ I wonder if this is also the sentiment of the GG!

Welcome home Mr. Henry. These words brought about a lot of reflection. Welcome home. Have I entered into the land that has been prepared for me? Can I sense that preparations are still being made for my arrival or should I be contended to live and live and be alive here and earth and in so doing enjoy HOME? Well, I don’t know about you but while I will spend every day and each minute that they afford to meet God through the encounters I still hope that the preparations will not end here. And if they are?
For now, I enjoy being home; share the loss with those who will be sent ‘home’ from Digi, and pray for this my island home and the final straw of indignity and ignominy that has befallen the prestigious office of the Governor General.

I know that the journey is long and sometimes there seems to be more clouds than SUNLIGHT. But the SUN is still at the center of it all--revolving. Won’t you join me as we continue on this OUR journey…….

DAY 144 IT'S GOOD TO BE ALIVE

2009-01-12T17:37:00.000-08:00

It’s good to be alive.

Alive—well in the sense that we refuse to give in to the challenges that plague us.
Alive in the most basic of sense where there is life and we are not dead.
Jesus is reported to have said “I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” Today as I laughed and ate and laughed some more with my friends I could not help but reflect on the joy that life presents for those who are able to live and live. I thought about the different ways that ‘alive’ can be interpreted. I did not stop there. I thought about the life that we have in God and the life that we are called to live and share so that others can also enjoy in GOD.

Jesus, I believe according to the Gospel accounts is the best example of what it means to live and truly live. He was the best example of what it means to live and truly be ALIVE. It was not so much that he was the son of God as it was that he knew how to live as a son. Sometimes even when we are the son or daughter unless we know how to appropriate the same or appreciate the ‘advantages’ that come with it we lose sight of what we have and the joy that can be ours if used properly. Therefore it is not enough to know it is even more important that we accept it and believe it. I believe that it is good to be alive and Jesus not only offers us a new way of doing that and enjoying it but he demonstrates it through his living. He lived. We can live too.

It’s good to be alive—so good to be alive. Today I felt alive and it felt good.

God, may we never focus so much on the deity of Jesus Christ to the extent that we forget the message that he leaves with us through his living. May we live and live knowing that the life that we live today is not our own and will count for more than just today. Thank you for all that we enjoy of your creation; may we be used to take care of the same even as we benefit from it. This is our prayer as we say thanks, on this OUR journey………

DAY 143 K L U

2009-01-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

I know what I want to share tonight but I’m not sure how to say it. One of the things that I have decided be make a concerted effort to address this year is how to prevent saying the WRONG thing. I think that there is not only value but also comfort in the lesson of Rev William Edwards as preached at Tarrant today. As he expounded Mark 8, he emphasized that as the blind man was healed that ‘he looked up’. He encouraged us to keep looking up for in doing there can be INSPECTION, INSIGHT and INSPIRATION. There was much more to this word than the cliché use of alliteration. There was substance and I was happy for the opportunity to once again listen to the wisdom of one who was my pastor before 1989. He still can preach.

The fellowship was good and so too was the evening that myself and Roshell shared with Monique and Garfield. Of course there were so many pictures that were selected to send to Vogue and Ebony but for now we will share a few of the selected ones from the archives.

I still know what I want to write, but I still haven’t. I still don’t know how to say it. Can we find any solace in the view that even when we are weak and dissatisfied with our performance or lack thereof that God is in control and sees and knows the desires and expressions of our heart? Is there any ease in knowing that there are groans that God continues to understand even in the midst of the day and the breaking of the dawn? Can there be any peace in one’s restlessness in knowing or BELIEVING that there is inspiration that can be gained as we look up. I will look up more in this year. I will keep looking up not because I am anticipating a coming DOWN of God but because right now here on EARTH I am enjoying God’s presence that has come and that abides with us and among all of God’s creation.

KLU—Keep Looking Up as we continue on this our JOURNEY…….

DAY 142 CRAZY CRAVEN CRAVES

2009-01-10T21:47:00.000-08:00

According to the writers of Genesis it is normal to have craves. According to the same stories it is important that we be careful the things for which we crave as well as how we manage these desires or feed them. While a crave might seem innate or undeniable overwhelming we reminded by scriptures that we have the power to overcome these desires. We also have biblical and non-biblical sources that attest to the dangers of ignoring the problems that result from feeding craves without balancing the responsibility that the individual has to her/himself; to others and GOD. Imagine if we all went around ‘picking the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden”. Imagine if we all went about telling others that there are no consequences for eating the fruit although we know that it’s forbidden.

Desires should be monitored even when it seems as if the end result will be positive and in the best interest of the community. Over the last few weeks I have developed an insatiable desire for reading—really for knowledge. I want to know and even when I do not have the time to read all that I want to I have the desire to get the book so that if time allows I will have the option to turning the pages. Today, as I listened to my nephew express his fear that I will be going away; leaving him again and go to that which is ‘foreign’ I was made to realise that while my love for this KNOWLEDGE might be overwhelming for me that it can also be dangerous for the relationship that I have committed to have with my nephew. While I want to gain as much from the books as possible I also want to ensure that as he reads the pages of my life that he will be influenced by the Spirit of God who resides in me equipping me to be the man of integrity; chiseling away at the hardness and callousness of heart while cemented in me a love for neighbour including the environment. What he reads in my life is so much more important than what C. S Lewis will have to say about “experience by itself proves nothing” (God in the Dock: Essays on Theology and Ethics, ed Walter Hopper Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1970; p 24-25.)

Desires. They are the fire that burns within us and the fire that sometimes consumes us. Desires. They are the light that shines within us and sometimes the light that overtakes us. Desires. They are the sun which illuminates the quiet rest of our heart and yet they are the rays that sometimes cloud the truth which lies buried into the deep recesses of our heart. I saw rest today and yet it was bitter sweet since it was accompanied and preceded by that which was buried--and stays buried.

It would be crazy to deny that they exist. But it would be even more crazy to deny that we have no responsibility in how we address and un-dress the ideas of these. Address we must as we seek to do well to friends and family on this side of creation—our JOURney……

DAY 141 BE FRUITFUL

2009-01-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

As we continue the reflection on the theme of the creation I want to engage our thoughts on the idea of the place and relevance of friends and families as created by God. One of the instructions that was given to Adam and Eve was "be fruitful and multiply'. We have no shortage of persons who take this literally and so there are so many children who are produced without the necessary kind of protection and care that they need. Persons have multiplied and have created and in doing so many have created or added to another generation that needs more care than ever before. What about producing love and care as we multiply? When did we lose the importance of values being produced and passed on? We need more grand parents to be there to pass on the values; for isn't it true that it takes a village to raise a child? This seems to hardly be the concern of too many who enjoy the ride and shy away from the responsibilty--women included. We often miss the instruction to replenish the earth. I believe that the culture that says that there are no consequences for one's actions needs to be eradicated in order for there to be a wholesome kind of replenishing. I believe that while some might believe that this is the Church's responsibility that the home as the primary agent of socialisation has a even more direct and commanding role to play.

Today/ tonight as I sat and ate with friends and family I could not help but think about all those who for one reason or another cannot share in the joy of knowing that they can positively impact the world beyond populating and polluting it. This is our Father's world and we are the stewards. As stewards may we share in the creative actions of creation as we carefully pursue with strength and vigor that for which we have been created. Herein lies another challenge but yet another area for growth. We need to grow--our children need to know that we were created for far more than what we can see today. We should never lose hope nor should we be enslaved to the voices that limit the height of our reality or the choruses that challenge our uprising. This is our Mother's world and we are heirs--sons and daughters.

we might never understand or agree with all but in the same way that we stick to those who we love though we cannot understand them, may we stick together and work together as we continue on this OUR journey............

DAY 140 MEETING of CTS GROUP

2009-01-08T22:27:00.000-08:00

Today I saw the group that's here from CTS. It was a time of laughter unstoppable expecially as they spoke about their experiences that they have had so far. As I listened I could identify with the fact that they are at the place, in terms of trying to cultivate and understanding and appreciation of this NEW and even weird culture, in just the same way that I was forced to adjust a few months ago. It was great seeing them and it was even greater to see all the books that they had brought HOME for me. They have been to BO BO Hill and also the Spanish Town Corretion Institution (prison) which they expected would have ahd more maximum security. They are enjoying the culture and the drive by Dr. Miller and I am happy for that.

It's interesting the way that when we use our experiences to interpret another's the kind of reflection that we find. It is even more interesting the way that we are able to look and dig deep beyond the peripheries of what we KNOW or think that we KNOW to find deeper meanings that are unseen with the NAKED and natural eyes.

Life continues to offer us these opportunities and it is my hope that as we continue that we will be able to see some of these and interpret some of them for the deeper truth that are buried within them. This is my hope as we continue on this OUR journey........

DAY 139 FIRST DAY HOME

2009-01-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

Today I saw my nephew Wayne and it was the greatest joy that I have felt in a long time. He knew that I was coming and somehow he KNEW within himself that I would come to ‘pick him up’ at his school. In fact as soon as he woke, as reported he told his grandmother that I would be doing so and a similar tale he shared with his teacher, Miss Reid. For me, it was not the beautiful sceneries of Jamaica nor the wonder of the day that was ahead that had my mind captivated instead it was the love of family and friends. It was neither the sun but the nephew and to see the joy that my coming home brought to them. O Lord, even now I think about those whose coming will not bring the similar joy that mine had brought and will bring as I share the experiences with others. I think about and pray for those whose bodies have come home as lifeless corpse bringing pain and conflicts to the very lives to whom they once brought only joy and excitement.

As I enjoyed the sunlight today I thought about the eight who froze to death in Europe last night as Europe experienced y the ‘worst winter ever’ at -25 degree Celsius. O God of creation we praise you and thank you for creation. We worship you for the wonders that you have performed but we are also frozen by some atrocities and injustices that we see in our land. We believe that ONE day your justice will reign supreme but sometimes in our daily experiences while the injustices pervade our land we find it humanly difficult to see your hand in all that we experience. Are you still there? Tonight, as the seven days of creation has come to an end, as the seven last days of my time in Indy had come to an halt, as your child I come back and pray that your creation will continue through me and all your children. I praise you for the acts that demonstrate your love and kindness but I also shudder in raw rage when I see and suffer some of the painful dis-ease that cripples humanity; stifles love and charity; builds up lies instead of truth; dampen your creative and compassionate spirit and image in us that enrich that which we were created to be. O God, even as one who struggles with who you are and what you are doing in the lives of humanity, we pray—we pray that some day we will be able to experience and share in your complete plan of salvation for humanity, not only from sin but from self. In this we will be able to live the full life. This is life and life abundantly.

The PRO-CESS continues as we meet again on this OUR journey…….

DAY 138 THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

2009-01-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

There's no place like Home.

As promised I want for ys to look at creation as I invited us to examine the last week of my time in Indianapolis, CTS. It is now finished and as I think about it I call to remembrance Catherine Keller's idea and clarion call for the church to see herself as a part of the creative creation which continues today. According to Keller creation is incomplete and God is inviting us to join God and be a part of those who continues this glorious creation. Of course for the more non-liberal among us this is absolute rubbish but for those who are still students and thus have the privilege to dabble in the different genres of 'rubbish' that exist, I find myself conmpelled to think about this idea especially as it relates to my return to Jamaica.

It is the creation of something new, something else and a creation which will continue. It is incomplete which should never be simplified to mean the same as inferior or less than--it is simple different from what it can be. As I return home there is much creation which I will be called upon to do and BE. i want to invite those who dare to stand on the Gospel of Jesus Christ to join me in this creative continous pursuit as I seek to make something new of what I have learnt and what we will continue to learn together. We have many examples of those who by their faith and their determination to test every spirit; to deny none of the voice; to reconcile with those who need the GRACE that we preach but never practice; to preach Christ and not calvinism have come to a deeper and rihcer understanding of who GOD is.

There is no place like home. Home is where there are those with whom you can share and those with whom you can grow. Sometimes this growth best takes place when we are sitting on opposites sides of the fence--opposite sides of the WORLD.

See you then as TOGETHER we continue on this OUR journey...........

DAY 137 THE TUNNEL

2009-01-05T22:23:00.001-08:00

I can taste the sun on my tongue and feel the jerk chicken on my skin. it's not that I have lost all sense of what should be eaten or what vitamin beats the skin at the breaking of the dawn, instead it's the fact that I am cognizant of the fact that in just a few minutes at the breaking of this DAWN a new dawn would have arisen and a new man would ascend from the metal BIG BIRD.

As I consider this I am encouraged. There are so many who I desire to see more than I desire the taste of the sun and feel the jerk chicken on my skin. Let me therefore share a sneak peak into the recesses of my heart.

Dear Miracle,
I am not sure if you are as nervous as I am. You know THAT in moments like these I HAVE trouble sleeping. But WHAT you might not know is THAT as I stay awake I am thinking and praying about how I can make you Happy and how I can be the best THAt God HAS created me to me. In such a few hours I will be breathing the same air as you breathe and I will be loving you closer THAN I've ever dreamed.
(Pause)
In just a few hours I will be away from those who HAVE in recent months being the centre of my WORLD but into the WORLD of she who HAS been the center of my life. AS i think about my failures, short comings and flaws I think about the grace THAt GOD HAS shown and above all I think about this grace which I HAVE been called to SHARE and preach with others. I decided THAT instead of the usual blog
(Pause)
THAT I would pause to say these words before I leave and before I attempt yet another time to pack the bags. I HAVE no intention of paying for over weight but God knows THAT I can't help it for right now my heart is HEAVIER THAN before. Yes, I HAVE gained weight but its not so much because of f d but because of facts.
(Pause)
Fact number one: You HAVE been a GOOD woman to whom much HAS been given by GOD.
(Pause)
Fact number two: You HAVE been a careful lover of my soul and an encourager of my strength you are more THAN I could ask for.
(Pause)
Fact number three: You HAVE been. It is in this THAT I praise for while doing is something exalted over being it is in being THAT the soul of the BEING is seen as it transends the actions and directs attention on more THAN actions.
(Pause)
I HAVE given three not because of the TRINITY but because of the UNITY. The unity which holds us together as only sHE can.
(Pause)
As you rest, rest well and rest with the assurance THAT the (Aish) husband is down on his knees interceeding for the household. May the God of AbraHAM, RaHab and the one leper who returned to give THANKS be the source of your love, grace, healing and strength on this the dawn of another day; another DAY, another D A Y. Amen

See you tomorrow as we begin another step of this OUR journey..........

DAY 136

2009-01-04T20:35:00.000-08:00

(6) And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. (7) And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. (8) And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. Gen 1:6-8 (KJV)

The headache that I have been having for most of today is not in any way related to the struggle that I had again as I read this passage as a part of the discipline that I have undertaken to reflect on the creation stories as recorded in Genesis. I began this ambitious experiment five days ago when I started to look at the SEVEN days beginning at day seven when I had only seven days to go before returning to Jamaica where I must undergo rituals of initiation into several different and ‘different’ communities. Today I celebrate two days that is left but must confess that the struggles in unpacking this section of Genesis 1 has left me with a humbled spirit; one that is more determined to engage in using the scriptures as prayers. One of my unpublished conversational partners, here in the States, questioned the need or the primacy of the Scriptures as a mark of a true Christian’s walk of faith and love of God. What about those who don’t have access to and those who have access but cannot read or comprehend because of mental or physical incapacities? Are these beloved not real Christians?, he questions. Of course they are! But this does not excuse those who can read from doing so. In fact it should count as even a greater sense of joy and inspiration to be able to read and share and interpret and translate for others.

Those who have Bible let them read and interpret and translate for those who don’t.

It’s interesting the ways in which people interpret the Bible. Very interesting.

Don’t lose your interest; keep posted as we continue on this OUR journey……….

DAY 135 QUITE A MOUTHFUL

2009-01-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

It is quite a mouth-full and one that will never be forgotten. I can taste the first bite that I had as I recall how I savored the moment--it was new, it was different, it was the other and so with open arms and mouth, and mind I took a big bite into it. I had never had this ‘sandwich’ before wrapped into familiar outer layers but spiced with a taste so unfamiliar and yet loved. How can I miss something so much that I had never met before? I was mesmerized with each bite. The theology was familiar and traditional but the approach was of a different substance—or was it the same? With each small yet FILLING bite I grew into deeper understanding of the question surrounding the 1561 concoction, the Trinity, as men grappled with the idea of same or similar substance. Was this of the same substance or was it something else that was so new and hence so loved. I fought to restrain the restrain that I felt towards it but the fight was won but the NEWNESS which it provided and the opportunity to try new recipes and write new menus. I had never believed that such taste existed and I was glad to have been offered the invitation to join this feast.Initially I felt as if I was invited from the highways and thus unprepared for the banquet but as we ate I realized that my preparation was not in the apparent apparel but that was delighted in the UNSEEN. As I ate I realized that I had forgotten that I was lactose intolerant and so there were some things on the menus that I could NOT have. Although they were appealing and beautifully decorated; delicious even (when I lost the battle to resist); I had to develop the discipline to resist.. Failure to resist led to pains which led to the lost of another appetite. Thanks to the Pharmacist for Imodium. And to God too.

This best sums up the journey that I have begun here and one that I recall with a great sense of love and satisfaction even as I reflect on the three days that are left. It was a meal that was worth the HIGH price of standing in the long lines waiting—waiting. Standing in the HOT sun at the US Embassy four times just for the visa pales in comparison to the treat that I have enjoyed. It was one that was worth the amount of uncertainty that overshadowed the experience. I know that the cooks were encouraging as I made my treks and I now remember the words of the HEAD COOK, Dean Fay "This one is going to be big; something great is going to come out of it." She later shared her secret recipe to overcoming the fears of the interview which was that I would have to transfer positive energy even as I prepare to meet with those who would peruse the order that was made to have a new chef to teach.
"Write", she said, "Write, I have a feeling that a good work can come out of this". I have taken her advice and I have written quite a few NEW recipes some have had success on the market so far and some will never be popular because of the differen-CE, the other-ly-ness flavour that they bring. It's so difficult to really know what the customers want. It is even more challenging to remain true to the FAMILY recipes which have existed in the family for ions. What is even more challenging is finding the right blend to provide the taste that it not just bland and tasteless. They want something more and this is what the survey has shown but the challenge is that sometimes the something more that I offer as a new cook is unknown, unorthodox and hence NOT trusted. But I will still try for it was a similar spirit which drove the Reformation of the 15th century to provide a renaissance of the old mixed with a new and insatiable crave for new insight. Oh to God that I may gain this new, fresh and great insight so that the Spirit who guides me will be the Spirit of TRUTH. I know that that will sell, but that is exactly a part of the problem--we are too comfortable with the familiar bathed in jejune theological understanding. We have become comfortable in the realm of the KNOWN and are fearful to let down our nets into the deep. We have not caught any fish the WHOLE night (OLD nite) and yet we fail to try the new way—as the Spirit blows over us. We are dried bones who refuse to heed the call for Spiritual Awakening. We are dried bones who refuse to listen to the creative words of the Creation which demands that the earth bring forth grass and the herbs and yield seed…’ (Gen 1: 11). There was a response in the affirmative as these commands were realized ‘And God saw that it was GOOD’. What is interesting about this is that the foods that were produced were according to their OWN kind. I reflect on that. Whilst nothing else was clear it was clear that it was ‘evening and morning’ and it was the third day.

O God, as we seek to know more about you may you teach us to love more of us; as we continue on this OUR journey……….

DAY 134 LOVE IN ANY LANGUAGE

2009-01-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

What should I blog about tonight? This was the question with which I wrestled as the minutes drew near to the time to drag myself to sleep. It's minutes to 2 here in Illinois and it feels as if the O'Charleys has done its hours and I am in need of another bite. The same feeling spells true for the time that I have spent here in the States. It has done it course and now I am in need of another bite of home. 'Soon', she tells me 'soon, you will be home. There is much to discuss and there is much to continue to contemplate'. It is always such a joy to hear the joy and confidence that she gives to me. Having such a friend, confidant and wife-to-be is one of the best things that I could have ever asked for.

Today, I thought about the fact that as children we pray and ask GOD for some of the things that we would like to enjoy in our partner. I thought about that tonight and I have come to see that while some of these expectations fade with time that there are some that with time we come to see them through a different eye--another eye, a better eye--God's eyes. The truth is that while there are a multiple of ways to understand and interpret this God, which Roshell and I obviously have different interpretation of, I am grateful for the knowledge that there is a GOD. Now, I dont believe that GOD is to be boxed in; I dont believe that GOD can be boxed in; in fact I do believe that we should be open to think and explore ideas about this GOD in healthy and responsible ways so that GOD can be seen through nature and nurture each day.

It is four days before I return and as you can imagine there are so many things that are running thorugh my mind. As the reflection on creation continues I am cognizant that it is a creation of Light which ensued on the fourth day and I believe that it is this light which will burst forth into the lives and hearts of all those who diligently seek God. Let there be signs and seasons. I am also sure that with the beautiful weather and warmth that we have enjoyed and have been enjoying this weather that many might wonder if this is really a season of winter.

I sometimes wonder and question too the idea of the darkness which God divided with the Light or is it from the Light? We often have been led to believe that the darkness is bad and that the light is good. I say away with that and forget that for to think that the drakness is bad while the light is good is to think that God is bad and good. How else would we explain, in our attempt to fight a literalistic understanding, that God is darkness and light and even darkness is as the light to him? Hmmmmmm.

Can darkness be a way of love in the same way that light has been interpreted?

As I child I had certain ideals that I have come to shed not because they are no longer important but because they are no longer necessary for the strength, stability and survival of my loving realtionship with my wife-to-be.

Just a bit more to CREATE as we continue on this OUR journey.........

DAY 133 NEW YEAR 5 DAYS

2009-01-01T18:37:00.001-08:00

He walked with grace like none that I had ever seen. While David and Ellen debated what he should be called I was captivated by the way that he gracefully ate and walked around in the open space. He was free—finally. I want to be like this horse for this year.
I want to be free. I want to be free without feeling as if my freedom will infringe on the rights and responsibilities and views and beliefs and traditions and ambitions and hopes and dreams and whatever else of another. I want to be free to be free. I want to be free not without the responsibilities but neither without the right to enjoy that freedom without the dictates of human beings. I want to be free. I want to be able to let loose from the barn into which I feel so trapped and enslaved. I want to be free to choose not to be free but having the choose to know that I can be free. It’s not that I am spoilt it’s that I sometimes feel that I cannot afford to spoil the ‘fun’ and ambitions of others and so like that horse, I am in the barn and waiting to be freed.

I want to walk gracefully even in the presence of those who I don’t fully know or trust. I want to be like this horse as one who depends on an unknown source who provides for his daily needs—even when I can’t fully explain it. (Not that I will not seek to find the depth of that source). I want to be like this horse in that NONE will ride on my back to get what they want and leave me out in the cold. Sometimes we allow people to walk over us. Sometimes in a bid to grasp the elusive humility we think LESS of ourselves instead of thinking of ourselves LESS. We sometimes get the meaning of the words misplaced. This year I want to and hope to gracefully glide in the presence of my enemies, be them two or multipli-footed. I don’t want to always be the ‘star of the show’ but Instead I want to be the one who adds to the beauty of the show through the radiance that filled my life and my heart. A radiance that shines from within. But there cannot be that radiance unless I am completely free. There cannot be that radiance until I am completely committed to the Radiance of God which I believe can fill every area of my life. This is my hope and this is the hope that I will seek to fulfill as I begin this year afresh.

I was told that I missed the MESS that the graceful beast deposited as I walked away from it. I want to be that too. I want to empty myself of those things that have made me less than successful and less than happy in the past. Raging bitterness shown to the bitter; brokenness because of my wounds; anger because of Leroy’s sudden death; uncertainty of where and why and how and who HE is and how I fit in HE. It is the perennial question concerning the Deity.

I recognize that even while I desire to find release for myself that it is important that I am able to do so without affecting those who are around me. I have not mastered that in the past, but I think that as this new breath is blowing over the still darkness of this new day that it is possible to speak these words into being and like the God of creation on day FIVE agree that “It is good.”

Five days to go and that ‘is good’. It’s no doubt a long road that’s ahead with fences of unknown strength on either sides. I still KNOW that there is a strength above, more like AHEAD on whom and in whom we can rely. So, if you feel like me, don’t give up and please don’t’ leave me now for we must continue on this our journey…………

DAy 132 NEW YEAR's EVE..............again

2008-12-31T23:57:00.001-08:00

It’s not the usual New Year’s Eve service, at least not for me. But that should not be startling for me since this year has not really been that USUAL. It has been one of intense and intrigue; miracles and mourning; sex and scandal; recession and reception; presidents and puns; corrupt fundamentalism and critical formation. While I have not had the ‘privilege’ of sharing in all of these nor envy those who have, I have been around to experience the emotions of those who waned through some and rejoiced in others. Being in the USA for the last four months has played an integral role in my perspectives on some of these dramas as they unfolded and no doubt will unfold in the upcoming months.

It has been a strange years, maybe unique describes it best. There are some things that I did this year that I wish that I didn’t and there are some that I hoped to have accomplished but they remain unsolved mysteries. As I embark on another year, I have resolved not to be hasty in my resolution but to be steadfast in my thanksgiving and appreciation for another year ahead. As I await it I remember the mad rush which bathed the world nine years ago as the return of Christ was anticipated and promoted among some schools than others.

There are so many things that could be said in this blog on this New Year’s Eve. So much more since here I am in the final week, in the USA, for now. In this week for reflections I have chosen to look at the First Week as recorded in the Creation stories in Genesis. Yesterday was day seven and today is day six as I count down those days that are yet to come. There are those who are still waiting for the Messiah; those who are in Adventist, though not Sabbath Keepers as we await the return of the Messiah, Jesus and still there are those, who will return to paradise in six days.

Oh, Lord, may we experience newness each day that we live. And may the hope of a new year that awaits us inspire us to always believe in there is hope and newness in you. For me, this is the life and life abundantly that we find through Jesus the Christ. We keep this hope alive as we are ushered into yet another yet……….another day on this OUR journey………….

DAY 131 REST and RECREATION

2008-12-30T19:45:00.000-08:00

And God rested on the seventh day. This has been one of the most abused and overused verses of the Christian Bible. It has been used to justify the keeping of the Sabbath while others argue that while ‘we’ keep the principle of the Sabbath that we observe the Lord’ Day—day of resurrection as the day of worship. Of course this does not preclude worshipping on other days.

While this verse has been used and overused, it was the verse which I fell asleep with on my mind and it was the thought with which I woke this morning. Certainly it fed the thoughts and steps that I made today. It was a day of rest as I am quite cognizant that in seven days time I will be home—back home in the land of woods and water—seas and sunlight—family and friends.

As a part of my rest and recreational plan for the day I went visiting Gardens of the God, Cave n River, as well as the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers. It was a beautiful day which I thoroughly enjoyed. It was great to see the river that had me tongue-tied for years as a little boy and one that we would always use to play a game. We would say “Mississippi is a hard word to spell, spell ‘it’. Of course the expectation was that the person would spell ‘it’—IT—but in most cases the person would attempt to spell Mississippi; attempt. As I travelled with Dave, a Marine survivor of the 1968 Vietnam War I was thankful for the wealth of information that we shared with each other.

Garden of the Gods was indeed a fitting place to visit on this the seventh day before my return. It was not just beauty but beauty in the middle of ‘nowhere’. The unexplained structures, stones and sceneries are interpreted differently by scientists and Christians and Christian scientists. Some are Liberal and some are fundamental. Some are Sabbath Keepers and some are Sunday Worshippers. Sunday worshippers—or people who worship on Sunday?

There are two many debates and this does not include the Calvinist and Arminian rift of the 16th century. For me it was a day of rest and recreation and one that I will cherish as the beautiful sceneries remain etched in my mind as the writings which I observed on the stones.

Lord, I thank you that you God over all gardens—Eden, Hope, Stadium, Majesty, Illinois, West Palm Beach and over all peoples. We praise you Lord for the fact that all peoples are a part of your creation—a creation in process. We pray O Lord that we will not refuse to engage in conversations—with those who are different—but always be open to the fact that you are greater and bigger than anything or concepts that we might have of you. May we also be mindful that they are others of your family, your flock that may not be of our fold.

You are God. May we bear this in mind as we continue to seek you on this OUR journey………

Day 130 HULK, HUNCH, Hp

2008-12-29T21:08:00.000-08:00

I was busy today. I visited Paducah in Kentucky today. It was business mixed with pleasure and by the end of the day the pleasure exceeded the business—at least for me. The car that you are seeing was but a part of the business for the family with which I travelled, but it was my pleasure as I got a chance—more like took a chance to get a ride in this Pontiac. Looks like 2009, could even be 2010. While this was not the chosen business by the end of the day it was enough pleasure for me and little David. This however was just the beginning of the pleasure that I would experience today. I saw the beautiful Ohio ocean which reminded me of the waters that is feared by those who live in the Portland Cottage in Jamaica and yet loved by those who live in areas such as Port royal who gain their livelihood from these and other wasters. Funny, huh—one man’s food is another man’s poison! I was glad to have seen it. It also reminded me of Jordan....oh what a Jordan. Oh how I long for Jordan.........

We also visited stores in search of an hp computer that has a flip screen that can be written on and all. I had to go in search of it like the magis and the shepherd, if you're a Literalist, for the sign that was given to me by a friend in Jamaica was enough to send me searching. Well I didn't find it. There were none but there were some other cool ones which were very tempting. Still not the tx2500z. We live in an age that has come a far way in many areas with technology being one such area. I remember the days when cellular phones were HUGE, LARGE, BIG, and were only known by that names because of the number of cells that made up one such entity as well as the fact that these functioned on different systems that the common and familiar complicated and non-mobile structures. Today, to have a cell phone is simply not enough and woe unto the one that has one has is bigger than her/his palm. You dare not answer it in public! To have a cell phone bigger that one’s palm is like pulling around a fridge or being towed by a truck. Funny, how things and times have changed and yet the same phone which we discard today will become the coveted possession of another in another part of this world. Hmmmm. One man’s garbage another man’s treasure. Speaking of treasure I found one today. Hmmmmmm. Not just in the warm welcome and delicious meals that was enjoyed at Connie—again—but more.

Lord, we thank you that you’re a God who is not totally ignorant to the phases and stages that we experience in life. We thank you that even as we go through without knowing what we might experience that we have the assurance, by faith, that we will go through. Lord, we never fail to question the wisdom in the pain that some around us experience—that we experience. We never stop, even when we deny it, to ponder as Mary did the things that seem unclear and strange. May we never stop searching and seeking with diligent hearts and minds, but may we never become so self righteous and so self assured that we throw away yesterday’s way of seeking or deny today’s means of ‘enlightenment’. Lord in your mercy, hear our prayers, as together we continue on this our journey………….

DAY 129 LOOK WHO'S TALKING

2008-12-28T21:05:00.000-08:00

You can’t help standing out when you’re the only Black in a congregation. Tonight I realised that although it’s Church it didn’t affect the fact that you stood out, I mean I stood out. It was not that anything was done that made me uncomfortable, it was simply the fact that as I sat there I recognised that I looked different. I was different. As I sat there I imagined how difficult it must have been for non-Blacks who also over the years came to Jamaica as missionaries. I have seen quite a few and have had to interact with some as we served in the Church together. I never really thought what it must have been like for them, until tonight. Funny how the tables turn.

As I stood there in the pulpit, I felt even more like I had walked under a stadium light that was shining so bright. Before I spoke in the morning I remember saying how grateful I was to God for bringing us here together to worship. And then it slipped out ‘We have all come a far way to be here together. It has been a long journey to have me here, preaching in the pulpit today.’ Did they understand the unintended currents that drove through my minds as these words escaped from the lips of an innocent nervous young man. I was Black. I was preaching to an all White congregation, in Southern Illinois. I was declaring the Good News of salvation which the birth of Jesus Christ is held to have brought in a time when the systems of injustices and inequality were escalating. My focus was on the Shepherds who were oppressed, rejected, ostracized and treated as outcasts to whom the message of salvation had come first as a notice as secondly as an invitation to go and be missionaries and messengers of the Gospel. They were the symbols of COMPASSION and the symbols of CHANGE.

Now that I think about it and the reception that was extended maybe I was made uncomfortable by my own dis-comfort than any thing else. There are still many questions and still many groans with which I must wrestle. This is my Jordan. But as I reflect on it I can’t help but wonder.

I am thankful for the experience of today. There are not many things for which I would have exchanged it.

We continue our journey………

DAY 128 TORNADO WATCH

2008-12-27T22:37:00.000-08:00

If you spent the day where I did today then one would be unable to tell the difference between the Weather Warning about the impending tornado that was expected to hit outside and the traffic of loved ones, friends and family members who swept through Connie's house. Unlike the dreaded tornado against which prayers were being transcended (at least by those present who believed in an omnipotenet God, who still responds to prayers), the one that was inside was birth from fellowship and the ties that kept us all together. As usual it was great food, alot of food and those who did not eat were either too tired, too full from breakfast or simply saving the best till later. I know that it is hard to believe based on what you know about me but I was one such person who just had to wait until my breakfast was a faded memory.

As I listened I recognised that there were several persons of one family with mixed views and each was being expressed with passion.

There really is not much to say about this experience apart from the fact that I met new persons, shared talks and emails and hope that more than conversations ensued today.

I am thankful for another day and another experience to meet God through the eyes and lives of others, even amidst the tornado.

If the winds die down CATCH you tomorrow as again we continue on this our journey............

DAY 127 BOXING DAY WEEK 19?

2008-12-26T23:28:00.001-08:00

Christmas as we know it today is a 19th-century invention. The decorated Christmas tree, common in German countries for centuries, was introduced to Britain by Prince Albert, Queen Victoria's Consort. Carols were revived and many new ones written, often to traditional melodies. The custom of carol-singing, although with ancient origins, dates mainly from the 19th century. Christmas crackers were invented in the late 19th century by an enterprising English baker, Tom Smith, who, by 1900, was selling 13 million worldwide each year, and Christmas cards only became commonplace in the 1870s, although the first one was produced in London in 1846. The familiar image of Santa Claus, complete with sled, reindeers, and sack of toys, is an American invention which first appeared in a drawing by Thomas Nast in Harper's Magazine in 1868, although the legend of Father Christmas is ancient and complex, being partly derived from St Nicholas and a jovial medieval figure, the "spirit of Christmas". In Russia, he traditionally carries a pink piglet under his arm.
Today, Christmas is as much a secular festival as a religious one. It is a time of great commercial activity and for present-giving, family reunions and, in English-speaking countries, a "traditional" Christmas meal of turkey or goose, Christmas pudding, and mince pies. Midnight mass is celebrated in churches and cathedrals in the West. In many countries, including Germany, the custom of lighting the tree, singing carols around it, and opening presents is celebrated on December 24, Christmas Eve. (adapted from Wikipedia)

As I reflected on the day today I questioned the extent to which Christmas and Boxing day were public holidays. These were some findings in relation to the first.
In Mainland China, December 25 is not a legal holiday. The small percentage of Chinese citizens who consider themselves Christians unofficially, and usually privately, observe Christmas. Many other individuals celebrate Christmas-like festivities even though they do not consider themselves Christians. Many customs, including sending cards, exchanging gifts, and hanging stockings are very similar to Western celebrations
Both Hong Kong and Macau designate Christmas as a public holiday on December 25. Both are former colonies of Western powers with (nominal) Christian cultural heritage.
South Korea recognizes Christmas as a national holiday. Christian and non-Christian Koreans engage in some holiday customs such as gift-giving, sending Christmas cards, and setting up decorated trees in their homes; children, especially, appear to have embraced Santa Claus, whom they call Santa Haraboji (Grandfather Santa) in Korean,
South Korea is the only East Asian country to recognize Christmas as a national holiday.
Christmas is a state holiday in India, though only 3% of the population is actually Christian. Sincere devotees attend the church services. In many of the schools that are run by the Christian missionaries, the children actively participate in the programmes. Christmas is officially celebrated at the Rashtrapati Bhavan by the President of India. The celebrations continue and merge with New Year's celebrations.
Israel
Israel is a Jewish state so the Jewish majority does not celebrate Christmas. They celebrate Hanukkah instead. In the Palestinian territories and in some areas under Israeli control a Christian minority exists. They celebrate Christmas. This is especially prevalent in Bethlehem and Nazareth. I found this interesting since as I spoke with one of my uncles recently he was furious that I would be celebrating this pagan holiday and not the Hanukkah which he celebrates. Why is there so much confusion and does it help that on Jnauary 7th, when we will be celabrting seven days into the New Year that people in other parts of the world will be just saying “Merry Christmas”. Therefore While some Orthodox Christians still celebrate the Nativity of Our Lord according to the Julian calendar, which places December 25 thirteen days later -- on January 7 -- most Orthodox Christians in the US observe the feast according to the Revised Julian calendar, which places the Nativity on December 25.
So much for the Epiphany.
In all of this we are grateful for the cultural divesity and the richness of cultures and views that we are afoorded. May we use it for our good instead as a weapon of ‘mass’ destruction.
This is my Christmas wish as we continue in this the days of Christmas as we continue on this OUR journey…………

DAY 126 CHRIST-MAS

2008-12-25T21:12:00.000-08:00

It was certainly not the first Christmas that I was away from family, since I was in Rocky Rock River last year as a part of my Student Pastor assignment. I remember it like it was yesterday. I also remember the grace and faithfulness with which the members served and so it was such joy to hear, and feel and sense and almost see, the radiant joy which beamed from sister Louden when I called her today. She was the lady with whom I stayed while I was in RRR. Although, this was not my first time away for Christmas it was certainly the first Christmas away from Jamaica. I have a strange feeling that it might NOT be the last. It was real nice to spend it with the Beasleys. It was a day of presents and sharing and joy.
I got some real nice and climate appropriate presents. But, one of the best presents that I received was the message of finding room in the inn. As I sat and shared and watched as the children opened their presents with glee and untamed excitement it brought joy. It brought joy because of two main things. One was the fact that I felt as if there was room that was made for me in a house—in a home when there was none in the expected inn. I felt like Jesus born in a different way and welcomed by those who know not who sits among them. Two, it also brought me joy because of the fact that there was a particular time in the exchange when the gifts that we given were gifts that were purchased by the Matriarch. Bwoy, she was a fair giver. She gave the same thing to persons with no amount of obvious favoritism or disparity. It brought me joy. For me, she was the Christ child in the midst and one who perhaps was not easily recognised. Too often we are expecting Christ in our way. Marcus Borg in support of another writer said ‘We are living in a Christ haunted and Christ forgetting culture’. And how true this has become where in order to get things the way that we imagine them to be we have constructed Christ and made Christ in our own image. Today I saw him working in the kitchen, baking the biscuits, waiting on the chicken, sharing equal gifts and at the end saying in a her lovely Matriarchal voice ‘thanks for sharing it with me.’

Christ-mas: more of Christ. I saw more including the beautiful lights on Candy lane. I saw more than the beautiful lights; I saw the light and joy that was shared and I believe that I saw Christ in the lives of others.

Stay with me as we continue on this OUR journey…………..

DAY 125 CHRISTMAS 'EVE'

2008-12-24T21:56:00.000-08:00

Eve what comes to mind when we hear that word, that name? It surely is not the pride and joy that tonight brings for many unless it is associated with the birth of the putative Christ child.

As I sat tonight and heard again the 'Christmas story' it brought great joy which undoubtedly it would have brought for all those who heard and shared in it the 'first' christmas. But as I listened on this Eve night I thought about all for whom tonight does not bring joy and happiness but pain. For like Eve, their lives have been lives of painful 'child' bearing experiences brought on by sources of injustices and hate crime and poverty and pollution and hostility. Brought on by inhumane systems and unequal distribution of wealth--misuse of power, abuse of the same. It surely has not been lost on me that as I celebrate there are still those for whose this Eve is not joy but sadness. They are still crying, gripping onto their dying babies and their heart's cry is 'O come o cone Emmanuel'. Come, please come. O great God, of love and mercy, forgive us of our sins as we forgive those who trespass and maybe know not, or who trespass and do not know to seek forgiveness. Begin with me.

As i listened to the choir I was led to the HOUSE. Not the house where the child laid but the house where children all over this world are laying tonight in the cold. It's a cold HOUSE built with cold hearts and bitter memories. It's a cold HOUSE where the 'gifts' are diseases, natural disasters, high mortality rate, poor health care, or not at all and epidemics which destroyed the 'future' of children whose only hope can be found in the hope of others or the death of their oppressors. What is the message that we share with them and who is the Christ that we must share? Greatest of all what is the message and who will bring it? It's a message of peace which is founded in justice and love which is founded in equality. It's a message in which the BODY of Mary participated, not as a BREAD VAN but as a body who would be deified and reminded that though sinful, not sinners by nature. It is a message that men and women are gifts from God and God is a God who gives GOOD gifts--gifts that God called 'very good.'

The star will soon be seen and the message will be heralded from afar. What message will you hear and how will you receive it? With whom will you share it?

Let's not stay too long at the stable, lest we miss the journey to the poor and lonely, whom we see and meet us daily. If we miss them we miss Jesus in our midst. We must continue as Jesus did, on this OUR journey.......

DAY 124 DOES not ADD UP

2008-12-23T23:57:00.000-08:00

Today was a reflective day. One of the things that really fascinated me was that I was celebrating 124 days since I have been in the States. Persons who really know me know that I am fascinated with numbers. Sometimes I look on the clock and see that it's 1:23 am and I just sense an inexplainable sense of connectedness or if I see 6:54 pm. They just fit so perfectly. Today's 124 was strange. It was not 123 which is sequential but 1+1=2 and 2+2=4. You can tell that I have finished classes here and that i really do not have anything constructive to do with my time but sit and watch numbers. But there is a greater truth. There are some things in life that just do not add up. The more we look at them; the more we question them; the more we try to find some truth in them--they just don't add up. Now, I am not saying that I am talking about any mysterious three in one or one in three; I am simply saying some things don't add up.

How else can you explain a five year old speaking like a 22 year old, unless you believe in re-incarnation. And how can you say that you believe in re-incarnation unless you believe in other mysteries such as the literal resurrection of Jesus. Maybe you do. But how can you say that you don't believe in these things and yet profess that you're a Christian. Already, I am hearing the shouts 'Yeah, they just don't add up'.

There are many of these things that just don't add up and there are many more that we will face and meet each day. Last night I heard about the death of 10 people who were travelling in a bus in Portland Jamaica who were crushed to death when the bus went over a cliff. Tonight I heard that it was 14. How does that add up in light of one survivor's response 'Thank God, a only God save me'. Well, what about the others? What are they saying? I am saying some things just don't add up. It makes no sense we use our calculative systematic way of trying to explain some things. It makes no sense that some of us continue to believe that every thing has to be proven in BLACK and WHITE--they don't. I can count the number of Blacks that I have seen since I have been here (note place) and if I were to use that then like much of the preceding ideas that I have shared--there are some who will will; some who will live and you know what will happen to the others.

Almighty God, we thank you that in each new day we are called and re-called to experience you and life anew. We pray great God that in each new day we will live and live abundantly as children of the life who were created as 'very good'. Help us to see this truth and lie so that we might share it with others.

This is our prayer as we continue on this OUR journey.............

DAY 123 FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS

2008-12-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

It is amazing the extent that people will go to make themselves comfortable even if in the process they make themselves uncomfortable. I did that last night. I so wanted to be comfortable that instead of sleeping in the usual room I decided to sleep into another room that was more comfortable. But sleeping in this next room demanded that I give up some of the luxuries of the previous room. The same was true for this night as I stepped outside with my friend Dave to go for dinner. It was cold but there was some thing that we wanted—the food, the fellowship and we were willing to sacrifice the luxury of the warmth in he house for that which could be attained outside.

As we drove back to the house we saw the same thing and I was reminded of the same truth—the extent that people will go to make themselves comfortable, or popular even if it means giving up something else. In this case they were giving up their usual electricity bill for a higher price—more money. The lights were beautiful and the message was reinforced for yet another time.

Stranger things have happened but even as I enjoy these last days before I make my trek back to the land of sunshine, I was reminded of all that I had given up and all that I had attained. It was a cost and a high price but it was worth every day and every visit to the concrete jungle on Hope Road for the visa.

But what are you willing to give up this Christmas? It is my prayer that as we give up we will give it/these up not for ourselves but for the sake of others, in the same way that Jesus Christ gave up who he was so that he may embody something greater than himself.

See you tomorrow when next we meet on this our journey…………

DAY 122

2008-12-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

I am still trying to get those pics from yesterday to get uploaded. As you can imagine I am having some technical problems.

DAY 121 TRAVELS

2008-12-20T23:06:00.000-08:00

There are two pictures that I want for you to see and I want to see if you can check to see whats missing. Do you remember that game that we played as a child where we were given different drawings and asked to find the difference. As I looked at these pictures I could not help but remember these days. The strange thing about this is that these pics were taken like just one minute away from each other. They were taken standing from the same spot and they took only that which they saw. Please note that the truth behind the reason for the difference might be disturbing, but it's nonetheless the truth.

Sometimes it is hard to face the truth as it affects the way that we treat things as we experience them and we often prefer not to have our expereince and comfort zones disturbed.

Lord, we pray that as we meet you in our daily steps and journeys that we will be prepared to face the truths of our experiences with the knowledge that that which we know now might change tomorrow and that which we fail to accept might help to save us form the fears of the same.

As soon as you are able to identify the difference then I will be prepared to share the story behind it. You might FALL.

Well having experience that I went on the road to Illonois to spend some time with my friend Pastor Brett who I meant in Ja some five years ago. I can tell you with the wind speed as it is here it is surely FREEZING HOT.

DAY 120 WEEK 18 IT IS FINISHED....ALMOST

2008-12-19T23:12:00.000-08:00

It is the season of advent and yet the dominant words that I hear are not ‘peace on earth good will to all men’ but is instead the Easter song ‘it is finished’—almost. It is finished almost refers to the already but the not yet. The hope that is found but yet not fully seen. As I handed in my paper for Contemporary Theology today these words slipped from my mouth ‘it is finished’. These were of course lost in the fact that it was not finished and that in fact the end which I thought I had achieved was really just an elusive experience. Maybe this is not the single most important event in history where these words were echoed and also meant with the not yet, though already. The fact is that I still have my final draft of Christology paper which is due on Monday morning.
It is finished—almost. Is it really ever finished? Or is it that there is always more and more than we are being afforded to enjoy and experience? Could it be that the finished is not so much in the handing in of the paper or the turning over of a life; the rescuing of the children who were in the house going up in flames; but can be found in a deeper understanding of that which is to come. Could it be that it is in the hope that the paper will bring a good grade and the children will remember the rescue and the ransom paid as she who ran into the burning house to save them had lost her life in the process. Could it be that to be finished or really to have started a work which really has only just begun?

Today I felt as if my day was beginning and ending at the same point. It was like finding a map and not knowing having this meant that there was something deeper and more to find or if the map was that which was to be found. As I celebrated with students and teachers it was like being at the foot of the cross in so many ways. There was laughter and celebration. There were disbelief as to whether it was really happening and whether this had to happen this way. Did I have to die—I mean go this way? Was my going required so that someone else might come? It was ‘it is finished’—almost.

Who knows what lies ahead of us? There was one who resembled my beautiful mom. There was one Centurion who tonight commented ‘surely this was a radiant light from God’. This was one centurion among a crowd of so many, with so many interpretations. One cried out ‘remember me when you go. Believe me when I tell you that I believe that you have been—are being prepared to serve not only the Church but the academics.’

It is finished—almost. Tomorrow is the day after the cross have been hung. It’s a day of darkness and reflection as my soul lays buried within a tomb.

Still we continue on this our journey…………..

DAY 119 CONTEM PAPER FINISH

2008-12-18T23:02:00.001-08:00

I finished my Contem Paper that is due tomorrow. I am so glad that that is out of the way so that I can return to my Christological pursuit. It was good to have the confidence of the professor as well as that of my Pastor here, Rev James Jackson who both believe that I can do it. But, isn't it true that unless you believe in yourself that there is every little that you can achieve irregardless of what people might say about you? The funny thing is that the same is not often true as it relates to the unkind and negative comments that might be made about us. We feel threatened and hurt and some times disappointed even to the point that we are affected and our lives changes by it. I encourgae you, as I say to myself let this not be the case. Let us rise above the criticisms and soar above the seemingly clouded skies. Afterall, we have a great cloud of witnesses that is cheering us on.

Shalom; that's the only thing that I remember from Hebrew. I have forgotten it all already. Who wouldn't?

See you tomorrow as we continue on this our journey...........

DAY 118 MIXED DRINKS

2008-12-17T23:59:00.000-08:00

Having spent most of the morning into the afternoon tearing through meals as a parent whose only reason for working is the survival of the other, I was happy to go out in the evening with friends and also to meet friends of friends. It was a pretty interesting evening. One in which there was much that was revealed and much that was revealed which is yet to be realised. Pretty interesting how sometimes there are things that are right before us and we fail to see them not because we dont see them but because we cant see through what is happening. I think that this happened to someone this evening and I felt sorry for the person. Nonetheless it was a good evening and I was not going to allow this to spoil the evening. Afterll all it all about me and not about us. Wrong. It can never be all about self. It can but it never should be. There is always a place for the community and this place should always be seen, respected and appreciated.
Remember I am, only in as much as I am because you are. Why then did I not help uncover that which was so real to me but was unseen by the other? I think that to do so would have destroyed the community and it not about self even when that self is another self--as one singular self. That was deep. No, it wasn't. It was in fact the daily mundane realities of our lives. true, being daily and mundane does not negate it depth but neither does being warm inside negate the fact that it's 15 F outside. There is nothing outside of the text. It's all about the interpretation.

It could be that my interpretation of that which I saw revealed was just that an interpretation and in fact the one who did not see was in fact the one who saw and knew and drew more from the experience.

The stories of our lives. Jacked up. Mixed up. Mad,sick, head NOT good nad yet they are our stories and the half has never been told. The half could not be told.

We pray that as we go that we may grow. Keep me posted as we continue on this our journey.........

DAY 117 REMEMBER THE RULES

2008-12-16T16:27:00.000-08:00

I forgot the rules governing how to translate the verbs in Hebrew exam today, guess I don't need to tell you how that one went. As you can also guess I will not be long. There are just too many rules, you never win.

Sometimes I wish that I could just forget about the rules and run, just run and run and run. And live and live and live and live. Maybe even fly.

Maybe it's not the rules that I abhor as it is failing to achieve the high standards that I have set.

See you tomorrow as again we walk, maybe run on this our journey........

DAY 116 FEELS LIKE DAY 7

2008-12-15T23:11:00.000-08:00

It feels like day seven in the sense that as I look back on all that I have created I believe that it is time to rest and yet like God rest does not preclude engaging in work neither. Tomorrow is Hebrew exam--the last one, of eight. My rest was to cease from all else and focus on that final river to cross when I was not deep in sleep. Maybe I lost a rib during such slumber, maybe I lost more as each time I arose from my sleep I felt rejuvenated and restrained; such bitter sweet paradox.

Dear Lord, thanks you that in moments of uncertainty there is that inner 'tug', outer realisation which affirms the certainty of your Supreme presence within and around us. May we find rest in this unseen, though not unfelt, assurance as we continue on this OUR journey.............

DAY 115 MEETING JESUS in THE JORDAN

2008-12-14T21:56:00.000-08:00

You can always tell where a person stands by listening to his or her sermon. Today as I stood in the pulpit I wondered how many persons could tell that this dude is 'messed up'. It is the third Sunday of Advent and as usual with my Anglo-Baptist self there was no way that I would excuse myself from seeking guidance from the lectionary, nor could I resist the pull from it, especially not at a time when Friday drove by and I was still without a sermon in any form or shape. I knew that I wanted to share about what God was doing in Jamaica but I also knew that in order to share that joy that I had to find a text—an appropriate text. Well, the lectionary said it was Jesus’ baptism by John at the River Jordan. Well, well, well, I know that I was Christologically saturated but not sober enough to explicate my thoughts without losing some of the essence of such a rich text and so decided to leave it, until next year. Or the next. Or, well who kows? And so I left it. But somehow I could not leave the Jordan or the Jordan didn’t leave me. There is something about going to the Jordan and never leaving there the same and until one has been there then one wouldn’t know what I am talking about. (I feel like preaching!). And so although I left John’s account of the baptism at the Jordan I couldn’t leave Jordan completely and so I sought refuge or I was inspired (right?!) by the same Spirit who abides and dwells with the same Christ about whom I am saturated. Sure! Well, I tried—tried I say to make the connection between our period of waiting in advent and the need to do so even as we go through hard times—rough times—our Jordans—together. I extracted the need to be thankful even as we wait as well as the joy that can be found in waiting together—teamwork. Well, it was that and then amen. It was long not because of the Baptist-centrism which overshadowed any other residue that may have been in me but because of the human being who fails to understand and accept some areas that are still gray, but who tried his best to not infiltrate a camp as they go through their Jordan with their new pastor. It was long. It was strange that I felt like Jesus with all the children coming to sit on my lap for their picture.

The fellowship and sharing which followed at the Jacksons’ I and II was not as long but equally rewarding an experience. There was food, pictures and conversation—three of my best friends.

I might still be a bit confused but I hope that something good will be born from this experience. I know that it will.

Many rivers to cross says Jimmy Cliff and this is just one. One that will soon come to an end in many ways in just a few days. I thank God for the Christ that I have met and seen and sat and ate with in the persons of men and WOMEN whose touched has healed my prejudice; removed the ‘un-processed’ scales from my eyes; whose sharing had given new life to my paralytic and rheumatic body of knowledge; whose teaching has enveloped in me a desire to draw water from a well that never runs dry. I am running home, in just a short while and the cry from my lungs will be “Come see a man”. Listen closely, do you hear what I hear? ‘Come see a MAN.’

Just a few days to go. One HEBREW Jordan on Tuesday. lol. Stay with me as we continue on this our journey……………

DAY 114

2008-12-13T22:00:00.000-08:00

It’s funny the way that each day passes by so quickly. As I sit here before this computer thinking to myself ‘Self, what should I write?’, I am confronted with the hard cold fact on yet another cool evening ‘YES ANOTHER DAY HAS DIED.’ Another day has died and yes there are so many things to say. Since it was a good day I will waste no amount of time to lament the fact that there are some people who just have the gift to spoiling a good evening.

It was good to have journey in the morning with my brother Earon as we went on the road for his breakfast and got more than breakfast. By the time we got back it was time for lunch and time to head to the movies where we celebrated belated birthday with Matthew and watched “The day the earth stood still.’
There was once again the matrix-relationship of lead actor Keene Reeves, who seems to have such out of space—spaced out roles cut in stone, has the leader of this esoteric being who is not human yet human. This is surely one post-modern film which begs for the interpretation of a James Smith or a counterpart. I think that I shall take up that challenge afterall like Reeves’ role so many of us have come to see ourselves as sent here on earth for some purpose which we are yet to fulfill.

There was no stopping up however from getting ourselves fulfilled at Pizza Hut after the show. It was real celebration and good fun. Surely, a night to be remembered with fond memories—and then.

Almighty God we thank you for the earth that you have created and for the active role that you have commanded us to play. We pray creator God that as we take care of this earth that we will see that as a privilege and so treat it with the honour that it deserves instead of travelling on the seat of commanders and destroyers of your earth, with ourselves in it. Thank you God for using us and for your forgiveness which your shower upon us. This is our prayer on this side of your creation, as we continue on Our journey………..

DAY 113 WK 17 BOWLED OVER

2008-12-12T23:38:00.000-08:00

I finally fell asleep at 5:05 am as I rejected the urge to stay awake and work on the paper that was tearing me a part. I recognised that although there were some things that I had articulated that to write them down meant that they were permanent. It was not the fact that I would no longer be open to growth and change after expressing these views that scared me as much as the fact that there were still so many unanswered questions that were floating in my mind—outside of my mind. of course I was open to change of course I was open to growth, it was in fact because of the change and hopefully growth that I was experiencing that was creating this dilemma. And so I fell asleep. I woke up with the same questions, a new headache and the drive to get rid of both of them.

As the hours drove by I looked forward to the time of fellowship that was organized by the Black Student Caucus. We went bowling. It was great. I laughed so much that my tears came to my eyes and my headache retraced it route to my head. It was not only fun to have victories as the pins came tumbling down but it was equally fun to watch the others play. It was fun too to see others play other games after they had bowled or had been bowled over.

Just when I thought that I had played enough and that cheeks would be given a rest from a hard night of laughter then came the real time at Morty’s Restaurant and Bar when Oscar and myself hang out. There was this Mexican dude he had us cracking up with his PG 13 jokes. The fact that they rated it PG 13 was enough joke.

It has certainly been a great day, one filled with laughter and weakness brought on by that laughter. It sure feels good to be able to laugh.

Lord, we thank you for all the things and opportunities around us in which we can find space to laugh and cry and laugh again. We pray, O kind and compassionate God that as we laugh and have fun that we will never do so at the expense of others and that we will never do so without consideration of our neighbours, irregardless of their colour, age, or any other dividing factor. Teach us to number our days and save space in each for laughter, this is our prayer on this OUR journey…………..

DAY 112 TIME

2008-12-11T23:11:00.000-08:00

It is often said that 'time is the healer of all things'. Funny how many persons believe this to be true. Those of us who have lived long enough know that this is not true. Time can be a healer so long as it is met with some other essential elements for the process of healing, such as patience, faith and endurance and community. Time has passed and I have not been faithful to my promise that I would show you snippets of the Post-modern part-y that I had last evening. In fact time has ran out on that thought and so I have decided to continue the discussion on James Smith's 'Who's afraid of post-modernism?'.

I hope you will enjoy these final paragraphs.

Is it therefore surprising that Smith begs that the Church becomes Whale Riders, and therefore seize every opportunity to retrieve the tradition which can best be interpreted and transformed within the community? No. He continues as he laments the way that modernity has eroded the identity of the “peculiar people” who make up the body of Christ [p, 116]. He believes that the attitude of the Church towards the marriage that he supports is bore out of sheer ignorance and unwillingness to afford a chance to grow—the chance to ride the whales and impact the community. Smith’s approach has substance and foundation. The substance is love for God and community as demonstrated in the communion and its foundation is the scripture. It is not a rejection of the tradition and the marriage is not illegitimate, in fact he argues the opposite since there is ‘a robust confessional theology and ecclesiology that unapologetically reclaims premodern practices in and for a postmodern culture’ [116]. It is this which RO offers, he articulates. It is not a ‘thinned out’ version of what is believed but is instead deeply embedded in compassion—the caritas—and is ‘thick’ in confessional identities; yet felicitously prepared to address the post-modern realities [p, 117]. This I found to be a rather refreshing and liberating argument which he further developed as he criticizes the ‘modern dream of absolute certainty’ whether the post-Kantian liberal theology or the more Protestant fundamentalist expression [p, 118]. He rejects these because unlike his RO approach they ignore the caritas-demand, respect for others and tramples on humility as they maliciously attack or ignore the needs of the other. Additionally, though not explicit, Smith seem to think that they claim to be holders of all truth—thereby dismissing theologia viatorium—theology in process—which forbades one to be the conduit of all truth. Smith remains true to claim in his 2004 introduction in which he avoided attaching a definition to RO than a ‘sensibility’. This ‘sensibility’ he continues ‘seeks to articulate a robust confessional theology’ yet ‘refuses the modern (and skeptical) equation of knowledge with omniscience’ [p, 117].
To the very end he believes that a reinterpretation of our ‘text’—the world and its realities can best be found in this new and unique way of radically theologizing which resonates with the ancient, yet vibrant Reformed Tradition.
As the discussion continues I wish for us to consider; to what extent is Smith’s Trinity as forced as Chalcedon’s 451, especially when one considers Michel Foucault’s Nietzchean understanding of power as well as Derrida’s contextual understanding of the world—the text—of which power/knowledge is a part of it? In other words what will be the result of affirming this interpretation of all texts when knowledge ‘which is not neutrally determined’ [p, 85] is an important part of that text? Finally, does Smith fall on his own sword in presenting RO as the Church’s savior or cure in a post-modern and pluralistic age since ‘even the strategies aimed toward cure are in fact systems of control and domination’? [p, 82]."

Funny how time waits on no man or woman. It has ran out. See you tomorrow as again we reflect, hoping see some pics of me at the party. Whether or not we continue until 'time runs out' on this our JOURNEY.........

DAY 111 AN-OTHER LOOK @ POST-MODERNISM

2008-12-10T21:48:00.000-08:00

Today I took another look, a closer look at post-modernism and was able to see something of what James Smith speaks of in his book 'Who's afraid of post-modernism?'. While, I do not mean to scare you I wish to share some of the insights that I garnared. I will not hold it against you if you lack the constitution to hold up with either his ideas or my mumble-jumble.

"James Smith has a weakness for Radical Orthodoxy and he has certainly found a way to effectively and persuasively marry it to Post-modernism. The union has bore some fruit. It is not surprising, at least not to me, that the offsprings of such a union have caused some amount of unease and dis-ease among many who oppose the union. In fact it could easily be seen as an unholy union, much like Moses and the Canaanite; except that his is the threesome of Jacques Derrida, Jean-Francois Lyotard and Michel Foucault. Apart from all being from Paris—they’re all men—how outrageous! It gets more interesting when Smith averts that the Church in the twenty first century and beyond can benefit from this alliance. His rhetorical Who’s afraid of Post-modernism therefore not only taunts the Church who he sees as captives within this ‘Matrix’ but also offers fresh and refreshing interpretation and re-interpretation to some of Christianity’s orthodox positions. One would be fair to say that his offering of such new insights would please Derrida for whom ‘everything is an interpretation’ [p, 42]. Using a rather unique Schaefferian strategy he considers post-modernism. He notes that as mentioned in Francis Schaeffer’s Escape from Reason “if we ought to understand present day trends in thought, we must see how the situation has come about historically and also look in some detail at the development of philosophic thought-forms’ [p,20]. It is exactly such careful and diplomatic analysis of history and philosophy weaved with theology that Smith traces and engages, thereby offering an alternative interpretation to the crisis which the Church sees as existing—and one which could arguably be self-inflicted since there has been such rootless and relentless revolt against post-modernism and alternative method of addressing its honest and unique concerns; ironically in the name of tradition and God. Smith’s approach to the Schaefferian model is to see post-modernism as heir to humanism and existentialism, since he is in agreement with Schaeffer that ‘cultural phenomena tend me a product of philosophical movements’ [p, 21]. He impressively demonstrates this embodiment of the cultural realities by using film—the ‘new lingua franca’ [p, 24] to produce and direct an understanding of the symbiotic relationship between the Church’s survival and post-modernism.
Post-modernism has arisen and is rising—the already and not yet—as a response theory translated into practice that the modern period, characterised by an amalgamation of intellectual conviction social change, especially the confidence in reason to discover the truth, has run its course and is out of time. This is not Smith—it’s me. According to Smith while it is treated as poison and cure, any attempt to treat a Zeitgeist like postmodernism like the result of a single event or ‘pinpoint [its] advent by linking it to a historical epoch, particular event or even a particular cultural sphere….seems counterproductive’ [p, 19] as well as ill-fated. What then is his approach? In his usual satirical and outrageously sardonic manner he invites Christians to visit Paris for ‘just as the Hebrews left Egypt with Egyptian gold to be put to use in worship of Yahweh…..so Christians can find resources in non-Christian thought’ [p, 23]. Could he have chosen a more ‘unholy’ alliance of Derrida, Lyotard and Foucault? He believes that it was important to do so since in reminding true to the Schaefferian model of respecting history he shows that the Church, which he chastises for having become too modern need not be fearful of this ‘bogeyman’ but instead find in it an ally of the Christian’s ancient heritage, since without ‘trying to recover a pristine tradition in the name of “paleo-orthodoxy” post modernism does stage a certain creative recover of ancient themes and figures [p, 25]. He therefore remains true to his main argument of his 2004 Introducing Radical Orthodoxy in which he asserted that RO asserts itself as a theology to address the ‘ontological and epistemological inventions which contributed to anthropological and political developments’ which cultivated an unliturgical social world [p, 89] . For him tradition is paramount. Furthermore, he seems to be promoting a cause for Anglicanism or moreso Episcopalianism and yet he is arrested by many traditional Christians.

“Everything is interpretation; interpretation is governed by context and the role of the interpretive community” [p, 54] stands out as Smith’s primary summary of his first two chapters in which he reassures the community of its place as well as reassert his position on Derrida’s [in] famous there is ‘nothing outside of the text’. I am particularly impressed with the way that Smith addresses the hermeneutical, language and postlapsarian concerns as he demonstrates the gravity of the ‘world’ being a kind of ‘text requiring interpretation’ [p, 39]. It is naïve to think that we can do or be without interpreting our ‘texts’ and this he elucidates not only through the use of films and stories but also drawing on some of the elements that inform our interpretations such as experience, culture, prerequisite knowledge, history and context [p, 40]. These he had ignored in his 2004 breaking book as he focused primary on tradition and revelation. Smith is however still to be criticized since he doggedly demands that ‘unless our apologetic proclamation begins from revelation, we have conceded the game to modernity’ [p, 28]. How can Smith take such a dogmatic stance, if using his Derridan premise ‘everything is an interpretation’? Is it not fair to say then that the very revelation that he speaks of constitutes an interpretation? There is perhaps a ray of hope in his confidence in the community as well as his acknowledgement that not simply because something is an interpretation that it precludes it from be true—or truthful—containing some truth, if we are to accept the premise that truth is relative to the [con] text and the interpreter’s eye......'

Wow, that was a mouthful. It continues

Today I had a great 'part-y' that I really enjoyed. Tomorrow I will be post-modern and share about it as we continue on this OUR journey.........

DAY 110 FLOORED

2008-12-09T23:41:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I know that there is no such verb as floor, or to be floored, but neither is there for rubbished which has not only become popular but also accepted among some of the highest circles such as within the pages of these writings. The fact is that while the word floored might not be acceptable, at least not today, it is perhaps the best expression for my feeling over the last 18 hours. I have been suffering from the worst case of vomiting and diarrhea. It was worst than logorrhea, even if the one who suffers from it is seemingly related to a crocodile--at least in the facial features, the mouth to be more specific. In such diarrheatic moment [there goes another word, lol], the floor was my only place of solace. At least it was still DRY. And so I have been floored for the last few hours. In these Gethsemane moments I felt as if more than my tears were being ripped from my body. I felt emotions that I never knew existed. Imagine the fear that the only thing left to emit from your mouth was your intestines. And so I was floored.

Funny, isn't it--the way that in our desperate moments comfort is more important than anything else even when such comfort or the route to it contradicts the norm or the orthodox.

Well, now that I am feeling a bit better I must retreat to my bed--warm, dry and waiting. See you tomorrow as we continue on this OUR journey......

DAY 109 STAYED IN

2008-12-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

Since I had no class today I decided to stay in and rest so that I could recuperate as best as possible for the CRAZY week that lingers in the dark waiting to ambush me. I am grateful for the fore knowledge so that I will be able to prepare myself for it, for while I cannot prevent its attack I can prepare myself for its assail. This is helpful not just in anticipation of the week that’s ahead, but for life’s journey, for love, for hurt so much that could be written. We cannot prevent some things that await us but knowing that they await we can prepare ourselves for them.

I was also pleased to have been afforded the opportunity to dabble and dance with the post modernist James Smith who I have come to find refreshingly intoxicating—yet unavoidably sober in theological perspectives . I cannot help but be submerge.

This I will do and invite to do as we continue to enjoy this our journey……….

DAY 108 BAPTISM IN SNOW

2008-12-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

Nothing 'xciting' but much that was special was done today. I think that the highlight of the day was the baptismal service which was Rev. James Jackson officiated at the Mount Nebo Baptist Church. He baptized two young boys. As I watched as these young men leeped from their warm clothing into the cold water it was like steeping out inside the unknown; at that it was. The look on their faces as their touched the water that refused to be warmed by the running heater was one that said ‘ehhhh’ or “did cold ehh man”. As I watched I wondered about the number of times ahead that they will be forced to step out into the unknown, completely unaware of what awaits them;
yet completely reassured that in the same way that many had come to support them today that they were assured of support as they journey ahead life’s road—a road often covered in water or snow. I did not wonder with fear but with hope as I could name many who on this my life’s journey had become that warmth or that shovel along the journey.

So while I am still feeling a bit stuffy and still dislike the tightening of my chest, I too am confident of a brighter and stronger tomorrow. In fact this was the Easter message that was proclaimed by a friend today at a home for the Elderly “Lo, I am with you always even until the end of the age.” Apart from the fact that it would be fair to say that the end is pretty near for most of those who listened, I am also still trying to process such a message in the third week of Advent. Hmmmm. I guess that it would e fair if one considers the fact that the same message could be seen in the fact that in the coming of the putative ‘Christ child’ that there was a similar assurance and comfort brought to the world, especially those who were in the face of death. Different strokes for different folks. Some folks have no strokes or spokes. Ahhhhahahah. Yes, you can see that I am getting better the hysterical, mysterious laughter roars.

Time to grab a well deserved nap. Until then catch you later as again we continue with hope on this Our journey…………..

DAY 107 SNOWED IN

2008-12-06T22:32:00.000-08:00

It was Wednesday that I made plans with one of my Adventist friends here to worship with him at Church, today. Today as I was dragged from my slumber by the chest ache I knew for sure that I would be going to worship today, albeit by my beside. I was snowed in. It was pretty outside but only God, as well as those who braved it, knows how cold it was out there. I was snowed in.

As I watched a friend clean down her car I could not help myself but wonder how many of us are snowed in—even in our own bodies. Snowed in by our circumstances. We want to come out and face the cold, or music or fears or shadows or criticisms, but we are snowed in. There are the bills to be paid and the children to feed but we are too afraid to face the music and ask for help. We are snowed in. There are the injustices that we once again ignored in an effort to perserve our life which incidentally might best be saved if we report the prepetrator--we might be next. We are snowed in. There is more than the foreplay of colorful languages and unspoken fantasies as we long to engage in the illicit intercourse. We are snowed in by the fire that burns within. It’s not as easy as some people make it out to be, especially when we know how cold this world can be. There are so many judges, even those who once faced the cold and know what it is like to need a shoulder instead of stone. Could it be that the smiles; and kisses; and hugs and friends and finances; our jobs are still torrents of mechanisms underneath which people still hide? Today as I peeped from my window my respect grew for all those who saw the snow and were able to brave it and go out. I couldn’t. I wanted to since I had planned to not only engage in corporate worship but also go get my suitcase at a 50% sale held only today. Sometimes we have our plans and we hope that they come through but even with the best of plans they sometimes fall through. It is in such situations that I am left to ponder and ponder these things in my heart.

I know that you do too and in that I find and meet solidarity. Join me tomorrow, when I intend to open the door and face the cold, as we continue this OUR journey………..

DAY 106 WEEK 16 38 HOURS

2008-12-05T18:15:00.000-08:00

Apart from the fact that he had been waiting for thirty eight years (38) at the pool of Bethesda until the arrival of Jesus, there are very few other things that are remembered about the story of the man as recorded in John 5. One of such things is that he was an invalid, a crippled, or paralytic, an infirm or sick man depending on the translation with which one is most comfortable or familiar. Another of the easily remembered aspect of the story is that he was in that state for thirty eight years, according to the testimony, because as the RSV renders it “I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is troubled, and while I am going another steps down before me." [John 5:7] He was a man most unfortunate and yet I have heard many a sermons that chastise him for being so crippled by laziness and unwilling to even be healed as is misconstrued from Jesus’ question ‘Do you want to be healed?’. His greatness sickness was not paralytic, it was loneliness within a community. Nothing can be more devastating. Nothing can be more crippling. He was surrounded by a crowd and yet he was so lonely. He was always seen but never seen enough or too long to be helped. In fact I believe that he was robbed by those who were more fortunate; those who were more mobile; those who were less afflicted. Yet it was to him that Jesus ministered. Again, the theme of God in Jesus Christ identifying, liberating and reconciliating the oppressed is painted on the pages of scriptures. Again we see it in the gospel according to the ‘beloved’.

For the last 38 hours of my life I have been able to identify with this crippled man; unable to move as I usually would like to; unable to laugh without feeling the vibrating and irritating pain which stifled my breathing. Like this poor man I have had many dreams and many hopes as I sit at the bed side—Bethesda—waiting.

But unlike this man I have had a community that supports me and helps me in the water when it is stirred. I have had the community which looks out for me and my interest, between the bulk of their family obligation and their rushing sentences of the final paper. Marvin Sapp says “Never would have made it without you”. I have listened to this song over twelve (12) times in the last two hours; and not once is there the mention of God. Not once. Yet, it is assumed that it is “Gospel”.

God isn’t mentioned but ‘you’ are. Never would have made it without ‘YOU’. This ‘You’ is the community, for me tonight. It is my hope that for you this ‘you’ will be someone else. That you would have found this help, this love, this support, this community in someone else. Even better if this ‘you’ represents the ‘you’ that you have been for that someone else in the community. For thirty years he sat at the pool and found no help.

The advent season is upon us, Jesus is approaching. May we be found by him but greater yet may we endeavor to take him to someone; as we continue on this OUR journey………….

DAY 105 SICK or SICK of it?

2008-12-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

Today I was still feeling sick but if you saw me in my room and the number of pictures that I took you would not be able to tell. I think that when I am sick there are a few things that can inspire and motivate me. I got a chance to do two of these today. One was to talk about my sojourn here to students and faculty. It was indeed a great time as I spoke about the need for persons to know that and what God is doing in other places, cultures and context. I felt honored to be able to share not just about the experiences but what I hope that the interactions will engender—that is, a liberating and transforming view of others outside of the United States of America. It is high time that Americans know that God is alive and well in other places beyond the American soil. I spoke about the need to move beyond the myopic and Americo-centric perspective that is still clung to. It is a narcissitic belief that renders one impotent to what God is doing in other persons and places. It is from our experiences that we often theologise and if we remain shallow and restrained in such experiences then what depth can be expected from our 'faith seeking understanding' engagements? I believe that the CTS-UTCWI exchange program is one such opportunity which affords this germination, this growth; this expansion of one's view. And of this I spoke glowingly. I have learnt so much about this place and so many of my assumptions have been contradicted while some have been confirmed. I have met some good friends, some Black and some White. Who would have thought that this were possible unless the opportunity was created and taken advantage of? I have seen and met God in so many different circumstances and this is what awaits any who comes to Jamaica. Israel's understanding of God was just one among the many.

As I said before, if you saw me in my room you would not be able to tell that I was sick. Pictures upon pictures. I have a weakness for pictures and the fact that the camera usually gets my better side does not mean this obsession any easier.

I am still feeling sick. It was so sweet of my wife to be, Roshell, to play John Legend’s “I will stay with you” for me. It was more than words. It was a promise that I believe and one that I wait to fulfill as I too make the commitment to do the same, publicly.

Outside was a bit dark today. It caused me to think about the view that ‘what happens on the inside is seen on the outside.’ What do the pictures say?

See you tomorrow as again we continue on our JOURNEY............

DAY 104 I FEEL SO SICK

2008-12-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

I feel so sick. I tried to stay in my room and get some rest but there was so much to do. I have another Hebrew exam tomorrow and so I just could not stay in bed. Lunch at the canteen was good today or maybe I was so happy for the soup since I believed that it could help me to get over the sick feeling that I was feeling. I also met with the group of lecturers and students who will be coming to Jamaica in January. I recognise that I have the tendency to get all excited about my country, even when I am sick. Maybe my excitement has much to do with the fact that I am cognizant that classes end in two weeks. Yeah, I am just as excited as you are. I just can’t wait. Too much reading. Strange reading!

I must retire and get some rest or at least try to get some. I hope that tonight is better than last night.

See you tomorrow as again we continue on this our journey…………

DAY 103 COLD and BEAUTIFUL

2008-12-02T21:01:00.000-08:00

Today was such a beautiful day. It was a day that was so beautiful outside that although it was cold I had to go outside. Yes, I had to go outside and take pictures. It snowed. It was beautiful. I have been waiting for my first snow and as I walked on it I was smiling. It was a beautiful way to be reminded of what my faith upholds as yet another grandeur of God, whose creation will forever praise. It had me thinking about a question I asked a few days ago in another blog in relation to the opulence of God and finding and seeing God in the midst of the sunshine. Could it be that while the sunshine is that which points to the grandeur and beauty and presence of God that for others this is found in the snow and other eloquent creation of God who daily beckons us to affirm God’s power in all creation?

It was indeed a beautiful day, although I did not feel that way as I fought to stay awake, still trying to recuperate from the loss of sleep. Nonetheless it was good. As the time gets colder there are different things and ways that are being done to keep the spirits alive and get the jobs done. For some, maybe all, it’s multiplying the number of layers that we would usually be accustom to—for others this means a double multiplying. For some it’s laughter to the point of tears. As I sat in one of the classes today, there was this moment of laughter, silent laughter, when on a particular topic in relation to how we treat people and the rhetoric that we often used one person’s response brought shock for some and laughter for others. “We need to be careful of the language that we use when talking to people be began”. Of course, he received a nod from all who agreed that there are times when the language that we use can be discriminatory. “For example”, he continued ‘if we meet someone who is depressed and in a bad state we don’t need to tell them that they are fucked up.” Oh, my God! What about we need to be careful of the language that we use. I guess that the point had been made. Shocked! Surprised! Stunned! The statement may have elicited these and other emotions but in a few moments—milli—seconds the moment was over. His calm demeanor did not distract from the fact that he was a Master’s student in a Seminary. What a refreshing way to end a class. It surely was. I miss my Patios for surely there are some things that just cannot be expressed with the needed precision in English as they could be in my Jamaican. That’s the difference between being explicit and expletive.

Cold and beautiful. By the way, I think I am catching the cold. Hope you won’t catch it, but I am hoping that I will catch you tomorrow as again we continue on this our Journey……..

DAY 102 MY WATER BROKE TODAY

2008-12-01T11:59:00.000-08:00

I know that I am not the first nor am I the last one to experience a delay and I so I will NOT become all melodramatic. Nonetheless I am sure that you can understand the frustration especially since I had to rush to the airport, beat the 4 pm traffic, leave my food on the counter since the only bag that I was carrying was a carry-on and was crowded—over crowded. Imagine the drama that unfolded when I was told that the bag cannot be a carry-on since it is too crowded. It was like having a furnace inside and be compelled to not show it. It was like fire shut up in my bones and guess what there was no compensation. I was furious; such a waste of energy over things that cannot be changed. Don’t you find that we do that ever so often?

After waiting all that time in the line to get another flight I was then told that I will have to travel with American Airlines. That was okay since at least I would be able to gains some travelling points. I wish. They were full and so I had to go with US Airways. I thought that Miami airport was strict until I went through US airways and was selected for an “additional screening.” “Sir, if at anytime you feel uncomfortable and would like to use a private room please indicate, ok?”, asked the white Republican man as he approached. “Do you have any sensitive area on your body that if I touch you there you will be affected?”, he continued. “No”, snapped the furious one who was about to be violated, ‘except that I want to use the restroom so be careful, how you squeeze.’ My shoes were wiped and so were some other items that I was carrying. The moment was over and so I walking to my departure gate. And then I heard it “Passenger Stephen Henry please return to the main check-in desk.” I heard it twice. I was sure that it was not the biblical significance of hearing your name called twice. I however hoped that I was going to be repaid for my bag or something. “May I leave these here?,” I asked as I pointed to the things that had just been scanned. “No sir you will have to go back outside and return through security we do not want to be responsible for any damages”. “Damage, I shouted in my head, “not damages, you…….”. When I went to the front and saw that I had left so much at the front desk I did not mind being called back. What was however surprising is that I had to go through the entire procedure including the additional screening. As the Republican approached he smiled “Hmmm, I don’t get many men coming back for seconds.” I will not tell you my response. Don’t worry you wont be disappointed. lol. With that over I made my way to gate 21.

And then I heard it “Do you hear what I hear?….with tail as big as a kite. Said the little lamb to the Shepherd boy…bring to the sky shepherd boy……..a song a song high above the tree with a voice as big as the sea.” Said the Shepherd boy to the Mighty King do you know what O know?” It was Christmas carol in Advent. lol, lol, lol. I know that there are some who would scream if they heard this at this time of the Church’s liturgical calendar. I guess those who played it were in no way thinking about such liturgically advance. lol. For me it was well needed to ease the pain of waiting for my flight. I was told that it was delayed from 5 to 6:25, then I heard 8:30 then 10:30, then 11:05 then 11:30, then 11:45. We did not leave the airport until after 12.

I am laughing as I write about it but while I experienced it I was 'BATHROOMED'. As I look at it I am grateful for the opportunity that my philosophy of old “delayed does not mean denied’ found meaning. However we might interpret it and whether we might question the necessity of certain delays that we experienced, I was reminded that delayed does not mean denied. In fact I met Stephanie from Indianapolis as we waited. It was rewarding and informative—for both of us. Got TV?

I know that this is an extraordinary long blog but so has been the journey to this place. In fact my water bottle that was in my bag broke and so did my spirit as I waited for the 7 hours. It was good to have been able to find refuse in a fifth week love letter that I had been travelling with for all these weeks.” I found love in it when I needed it most. My Spirit was filled to the brim. My water broke.

Delayed does not mean denied.

That’s great news for me and hopefully for you as we wait, WAIT, to meet again tomorrow on this OUR journey…………

DAY 101 CHURCH as COMPASS?

2008-11-30T20:02:00.000-08:00

The only thing that I had apart from the trusted map in my hands was the desire to see them—to hear them—and that could not die. The rain could not wash it away. There was nothing that could have deflated the pregnant expectation that I carried and the hope which burnt within me as I—we, my aunty and I made our way to the Church. It was huge. A Mega Church, they say, except that I actually heard a quality sermon today. Some might even say ‘quality control’. I was blest and for that I give God thanks and praise.

As I now think about it I find it strange that I was so able to trust this rumbled piece of paper for directions which I had downloaded from Google map. I find it strange because at time I come to the point where I am unable to trust some other fundamental piece of document or writings. I am talking about the Bible. This does not mean that technology can replace God or that the theories of evolution or Big Bang supercede that which the Bible postulates. Rubbish-I say rubbish. I have come to recognize, as the man preached today, that people still think that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. I am happy for that, elated even. What I find interesting and nauseating at times however, which I have come to abhor are the many [mis] interpretations to this very statement. A few are acceptable with reasons. Because of the multiplicity of interpretations and ‘catch phrases’ there are so many who have forsaken their families and their responsibilities and have even sold their houses and kept their lives.
No wonder there is not a similar crowd of preachers running for the text which declares ‘those who lose their lives for my sake will keep it.’ I think that pastors, preachers especially have too great a responsibility—life and death—I say, life and death to not take seriously the way that they research and declare what such statements mean or can mean. Not should mean but can mean since as Christians and as Theologians it should always be a matter of theologia viatorium—theology in process. Not to be confused with Process Theology, not that that would be such a bad thing. How do we understand God now and not so much how the Israelites or the gospel [small g for emphasis] writers met and understood her/him. All scriptures are inspired by God should not be used as a sole resource to argue that it [scripture is] since the source under question cannot and should not be allowed to be quoted in its defense. But what about the Holy Spirit? What about her? For me, all scripture is inspired by God and since God is not finish in God’s revelation we should always be open to what God has revealed in the Christ who was made flesh to dwell among humanity. All scripture is inspired should not be used as a weapon to beat people in submission, only their love for the God with whom they have a relationship should by the same HOLY Spirit inspire them today.
All scripture is inspired should not be used to mean that the Bible is inerrant and that it is absolutely flawless unless one has seen the movie “FLAWLESS”. Nor should it mean that the Bible was spoken ‘word for word’—dictation we use to call it in primary school—and that Moses with some long white beard and a long writing instrument penned the words from the mouth of God. It is even more repulsive to think that it means that the Word has no meaning and no message for the people of today. Either extreme is like trying to find your two year old son who crawled under the seat in a Church with over 10, 000 members, some of whom have babies of same age. Keep the baby—for Christ sake—and I mean it literally, for Christ sake, that is, and be careful how much of the bathe water you throw away. As we begin the Christmas/ Advent season we tend to spend so much time with the baby and lose sight of the message. The Message of the Bible remains the same today and that message, I believe will not change. It is the Gospel message that at some time and by God’s way God choose to redeem God’s people for God’s self and reunite us in relationship with God. I believe that this creative creation continues. God is still saving people.

I found the Church—the Brooklyn Tabernacle Church. The choir was great and I enjoyed it not just for me but for my heartbeat Roshell who I know who just love to savor the experience. It was a wonderful worship. It was wrapped up into a touching touchy ‘inspired’ word that I am still trying to completely unravel and unpack for application among other things.

Join me on this path as I think that together we might be able to do a better job in finding it—on this OUR journey…….

DAY 100 SIGNS and WONDERS

2008-11-29T19:41:00.000-08:00

‘Signs point to it, while symbols participate in that to which it points’ is how I best understand Paul Tillich’s differentiation of signs and symbols. Today, while I have the time in the States and the opportunity I decided to visit the sign of the American people of freedom and democracy. The Statue of Liberty or Liberty Enlightening the World. The beautiful copper-clad statue was dedicated on October 28, 1886, and commemorates the centennial of the signing of the United States Declaration of Independence and is a gesture of friendship from
France to the United States. I learnt today that there is a version of the statue in France that was given to her by USA. Where does the giving end and should one gift be followed by another? What then is the gift?

It was not lost on me that this is a robed woman holding a torch. With a golden coated leaf. There is also iron, bronze, copper and gold. What do these symbolise—or sign-a-lise? Any biblical signiicance? Perhaps not. But as I stood on this beautiful ship lost within the crowd I could not help myself but think about how many persons really see this as a sign of their freedom and democracy. Freedom certainly isn’t free nor is it easliy acessible in this case. Yes, freedom is expensive, there us always a price to be paid for freedom. Some lost lives to be free while others gave up their freedom to be free. Today as I stood and watched and took over 100 photos I was a part of those who gave up the freedom to be in a heated room to be able to say ‘I saw it face to face’. My face was FREEZING. What a price?

But wait there was another beauty. It was the priceless gift. It was not the first time that I was seeing it but it was the first time that I saw it before me as a towering symbol, beside a human made sign.
It was the sunshine. This is a symbol. Today it spoke to me as it particiapted in that which it represents. It spoke of God’s love and presence which are forever. A free symobl. But does this mean that when it cannot be seen that God’s love and mercy are missing? What about the fact that there are some countries such as Jamaica which enjoy sunshine more than others such as Germany? For me, I saw this opportunity as a way to embrace the presence while it could be seen so that in the days and nights when the sun will not shine that there is still that HOPE.

It was a gift from the people to the people—not the government. People. A great symbol cretaed in the image of those whom they represent. They are a great gift. They surround us reminding us of the surrounding presence of God.

It was a great day of signs and symbols. You were on my mind knowing full well that as I experienced this it was not just about me—it’s about us; we as we continue on this OUR journey……..

DAY 99 WEEK 15 F-A-M-I-L-Y

2008-11-28T20:42:00.000-08:00

They are the energy that drives some of us. They are the energy that drains some of us. They are shoulders on which most of us have been able to climb on in order to grow and get ahead. Today I saw my Uncle 'Biggie' who I had not seen in years. It was not the usual cliché meeting and greeting. This made it special. As we talked I recognised that although separated for years that we still had not grown so much apart. I was still able to complete his sentences and even see through his words and hear that which could not be muttered. It was a grand meeting. Sometimes it is hard to unravel expressions of love and appreciation especially when they are shared between two males. Today, I knew that although the expressions might be different between Uncle and myself—we are family and that is enough love that needs to be spoken. Though separated by miles we are FAMILY. Funny how we take PEOPLE for granted until distances tears us [them] apart.

When we consider Jesus of Nazareth as best as can be seen and said about him from that which others have written, it becomes clear that family was always important to him. Although it has been labelled [plus and minuses] as one of the most Christological treatise ever written in the post resurrection period, the gospel according to John still remains one of the favorite of many Christians and Jews—and no doubt others—who seek the truth through conversation about Jesus. This conversation is beneficial when baggage are left at the door. There is no doubt that much of the information seems coloured, flavoured and penned for a particular context, culture and period. Today I read about the finding of a piece of that gospel written on papyrus, and found in 1922, by British archaeologists Bernard Grenfell and Arthur Hunt. It was found at the site of the important early Christian community at Oxyrhynchus, about 120 miles (193 km) from Cairo.
The U.S. divinity school where it ended up sold the fragment in New York in 2003, and it fetched $400,000 [highest price ever paid at public sale for an early Christian manuscript]. Soon it will be sold for some 300, 000 pounds. What could this mean for the gospel that we have in the Bible? More importantly, could this have any impact on the Gospel? As Christians we are a part of a Family which embraces and shares a rich and great heritage. Like the ‘lost’ of my uncle and the reunion which brought joy I am confident that this new finding—which always was—unless fabricated—will add joy to that which already exists. Even if that joy is preceded by confusion, chaos and contradiction.

Family belong together. John loves to speak about the “Word made flesh” in reference to Jesus. When the Word was made flesh and dwelt among humanity he came and lived within a family. When he died his family was also at the foot of the cross. By then it was a larger family born not by human bonds of fellowship but by the blood which he spoke of and that which was now demonstrated before them. "Blood thicker than water", we say but how do we determine the difference when the blood is that of Christ and the water is found in baptism? Is it the miracle of water turning into blood.

What if there was no death and no crucifixion would they still be family? Is the heirship of humanity found in the promise of God as one who is always faithful or in the redeeming act of Jesus? Should the two be separated? What if Jesus didn’t die—would this make God out to be a liar and would this be seen as an indictment of the prophesies—made or created? But whose prophesies were they--God's or the Prophets? Maybe the Israelites!

There is no doubt that I saw my uncle today, also Curtis. There is no doubt that I felt good to see him. There is no doubt that the papyrus will catch the attention of millions. Any other hopes is left to time. But never chance.

We are a family and so again we make the trip tomorrow on this Our journey…………

DAY 98 FOOD FUN FELLOWSHIP

2008-11-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

Food, fun and fellowship. These are not meant to be cliché, they are not even meant to be words. They are the symbols of what unfolded this evening as the family gathered for Thanksgiving. There was so much of the triplet to share that even when the evening was over there was still enough to go around.
As I ate I gave thanks for my first Thanksgiving. I gave thanks God for all that I was enjoying and for all those who made it possible. I gave God thanks for the food that I was eating and for the food that I knew that I would be eating in rounds two and three. I give thanks for the turkey, ham, chicken, beef, shrimp, fish, and chicken-on-the-stick.
But as I continued to look I recognized that all that I was enjoying was the result of days of cooking and seasoning and worrying. I can remember the questions “I wonder how many persons will be coming?”. “Karrien, do we have enough macaroni and cheese?. What about the chicken and the meat balls should I prepare them or what?” ‘Charles, where is Charles. Someone call Charles and ask him fi get a hardough bread.” “Bev, reach yet?”. And yet these questions that had preceded the evening in just a few minutes were lost when I considered the fact that there are so many that we do not and cannot see here this evening and yet their work is immeasurable.
What about the farmers who we often take for granted. I remember a dear sister whose ambition as a child was a farmer. As siblings we would laugh at her to the point that she either gave up the dream or the interest. But God we give you thanks for them and for the work that they do even in the cold of the time. I remember the reapers, the stockers, sellers, transporters and all other who often go unnoticed or are treated as if they are.

It was also good to see that there were friends. It was a time to share and a time to reminisce on what we have been through in past months. It was Thanksgiving.

It was time for the young, younger and the very young. All were welcomed tonight.

Lord, it has been a busy day but for that we give you thanks. We thank you that in the midst of all that we enjoy that you are at the center of it all.

Thanksgiving, Eucharist, Communion. Celebration of life together as a family. Tonight might have meant different things for different persons but as I looked, listened and learnt about a new family I learnt that God had provided for us all in different and unique ways. For that O Lord we give you thanks. I'm tired.

See you tomorrow as we continue giving thanks on OUR journey.........

DAY 97 LITTLE LAUGHTER

2008-11-26T22:28:00.000-08:00

It was a contagious laughter. It was the laughter that under ‘normal’ circumstances would have arrested the attention of all who heard it. But today was no normal day. Although this moving underground vehicle was packed with normal people it became very clear that the demands of the work and the stress and strain of the day’s events coupled with all other concerns that bombarded as atoms on this vehicle made it difficult for even this laughter to be recognised—and documented except by me. Did it register with anyone else? Was I the only was who heard the laughter? Was I the only was who was normal or abnormal? Was I mean selfish and Jamaican-centric to expect that these lost in this crowd in a traffic of emotions and concerns for the heating bill to respond in the way that I projected. Was I the only one whose day had not been so demanding and frustrating that this little small voice was heard by me?

I do not think this to be the case.
My day began with a blast having recovered from four hours sleep. My introduction to Pastor Gil at 9:35 am with accolades that I still only dream of such as Dr. and Rev preceding my name might have influenced much of the day. This I think might have been one of the reasons which gave me the opportunity along with Ryan,
good friend and cousin to be the guests on the program “Behind the Headlines” on the Spirit Station at Grass Root Ministry in Brookyln. It was an opportunity that I relished. It was an opportunity to respond to questions, cynicisms, criticisms, sarcasm and other fatalism ilks that have for many years scorch the rich pride and culture of the Jamaican people. And Africa by extension. I lost myself on issues dealing with crime and violence and teenager pregnancy and the strength of the matrifocal family which characterize Jamaica. These are not to be seen as negatives or estranged to Jamaica but should be seen as a result of many socio-economic and spiritual dis-ease which have resulted over many years.
While the family has a role to play as do the schools, the Church has a mandate to fulfill with perhaps even greater fervency, yet without fear or favour. What about Usain and the ‘substance’ that he is taking? Well, he takes nothing that I have no seen on the street corners or in the supermarkets here—except that we have mistaken SWEET POTATOES for yams.

Of course, I had much to think about, but the laughter of this young lad reminded that of the saying “It depends on what our ears have been tuned to listen for”. Had I dropped a quarter in Time Square or a hand full of one dollar bills[ made of paper, might I add]—I am sure that the crushing and crashing sounds would have been heard. What else could have been dropped to have captured the attention of these laced with running materialistic, frantic, worried minds and aching bodies? If I had fallen dead would they have even noticed?

So often we hear what we want to hear and yet there are so many things around us that we need to hear which somehow we tend to miss them. Our ears are not tuned to hear them. Or maybe our hearts. Today I heard so many things. I saw so many pictures—and took quite a few no doubt. But it was the laughter of this little boy which arrested my attention. So as I fall asleep having experienced so much good in one single day I thank God for having heard that laughter. It arrested me and my penalty is peace and thanksgiving of the eve of Thanksgiving. A little child shall lead them and this he did one day before Thanksgiving.

Find that bird, hear the laughter, listen to the song, see that fountain, hold that hand, offer that listening ear and find thanksgiving or be that for someone on this OUR journey………..

DAY 96 MOM'S BIRTHDAY

2008-11-25T23:11:00.000-08:00

Today was one of the best days of my life as I reflected on the birth of my mom. It was really good to be able to reminisce not only on her birth but on the death to which we as Christians have been called to 'live up to'. Strange? As I walked along in Time Square searching for Ryan I remembered the gospel’s account of Jesus being lost as a child as well as the woman who searched for the lost coin. Of course Ryan was not lost but the fact that I could not locate him at the place that we had agreed and the time that we had agreed was reason for concern. Could it be that he was in the 'temples' about his 'father's' business? Where would I find that temple in this material jungle? I searched and searched. Of course this did not stop me from taking time out to meet with the Stars. Afterall, celebrities must hang out together. It was an interesting night of red carpet, blue ice cream and light, lights and more lights. We listened to music and listened some more. Of course there was the usual entertainment which crowded the side walks and enriched the Time Square experience. There were also those who invited us to take their pictures. Of course, their bravery to give their camera to a total stranger cannot be compared with their exotic poses befitting only that of an audition for a Blue Screen Movie. Certainly the richness of the evening could only be compared with the support that these who were ‘homeless’ could enjoy if these raw talents were appreciated in other places, apart from the irregular coins that were thrown at them or in their containers and their pictures were taken or the pictures of the givers daughters or son or adopted person. But where in all of this is there a sense of a call to die? To Deny self?

I am always deeply insulted whenever I see benevolence being treated as having no place in our society. I am even more insulted whenever I see the same being extended as a painful staking duty instead of a joyful opportunity to share with those with whom we share a home. It is a call to share with those who are homeless in their country, landless in their promised land of milk and honey. It is an opportunity to stop the hemorrhage so that they will not bleed to death. It is an opportunity to offer some warm meals of compassion and words of kindness and therefore reduce the number who died not from the cold that they meet from the winter but from the cold-hearted ways in which those who have treat those who don’t have. Some of them die twice.
It was a lightful and delightful evening for me. It was also a dark night knowing that here and else where there are hundreds of thousands whose bed will again be the sidewalk and their meal the sympathy of many. Why Lord? Tonight I celebrated the birth of a strong Black and beautiful woman who today stands as my mother. Even so my celebration was affected and somewhat short lived as I saw the seeming darkness in which so many lived in the land of the free, gay and the brave. See you tomorrow, as we continue this OUR journey………

DAY 95 DARK NITE AT DAWN

2008-11-24T22:19:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those days. It was not one of those days when there was nothing to do. In fact it was the opposite. There was so much to do that I decided to rest. It was one of those days when it seems as if there was so much to do and yet so little time.

It was one of those days. It was dark outside. It was not one of those days when the darkness was only seen in the night was also one of those days when it seemed as if the ‘darkness’ the lingering space for solitude and peace and acceptance and love was missing. It was almost as if the SON was not shining. I tried my best to shine but somehow there was this side of me, this dark lingering hoping and breathing, gasping-for-breath side that could not be enlightened by conversations with friends and colleagues back home. Yes, there was the extraordinary humility of Anthony and the contagious laughter of Rogelio; the distant remarks of the “Junior” and the bubbling expressions of the female whose heart and ministry is set on the Caribbean realities, though some believe that there is no such thing as a Caribbean theology. With that aside for a next time or some other ambitious scholar, I still could not escape the inextricable darkness tied to my soul, yearning for meaning, yearning for answers, yearning for company, yearning for communion. No doubt I felt as one who presided at the communion of the excluded with no other who would accept this darkness and the tension which accompanies it. Do you know of what kind I speak? Do you too, have you too ever being arrested by this unwanted fiend?

If only the darkness could stay inside the house and never be allowed outside on the streets where others have to encounter it. There was no escaping that which was within. As I hid from the army of echoes which sought to overshadow the darkness I was confounded by the fact that the darkness isn’t always bad, for it was from it that good was created. “Let there be light” was therefore not a reproach of the darkness but in stead a reasonable tribute to darkness. It was from this darkness that light had come. Therefore light was good only as far as it had come from the darkness. Darkness is not to be feared to be welcomed and embraced. For isn’t it true that darkness is as light unto God? God who called the light into being was first the Being with the darkness. It is therefore a comfort to know that the darkness is not alien to such Self Called Being.

I therefore do not grope as one who wonders in the dark. Instead, I rejoice and I celebrate this darkness knowing full well that from this darkness shall too come a MORE wonder-lous and marvelo-ful creation. It is already a wonder-lous creation. This is the dark ‘night’ of my soul; a night that began with the dawn of this new day. Day 95 away from the ‘light’ called home.

There are many more in darkness and many more days to be seen, I crave your company as God continues to lead us to find our way through the ‘darkness’--wherever and whatever that salvation maybe as we continue on this our jOURney………

DAY 94 TIME SQUARE

2008-11-23T21:27:00.000-08:00

I have a weakness for excitement. Today I fed that excitement and even had it fed for me in Pentecostal ways that I did not know were possible. And so Church was at the New Covenant Community Church. It’s a Pentecostal Church. It was freezing HOT inside as the Holy Spirit was welcomed and ‘allowed’ full control. The singing was great and lasted for some one hour. I think that was really the last thing that I heard. It was really difficult to follow after the first forty (40) minutes of the fourteen points sermon. I have decided that if you can’t get it done within 30 minutes don’t do it. Papa Gayle would say “Just say amen and sit down.” I thank God for the opportunity and for the opportunity to see the youths involved in worship, even the little children as well. As you can imagine after taking in all that ‘substance’ a good two hours rest was in order. Dinner was great. It was stew fish, rice and peas and of course string beans. Real Jamaican food, real Jamaican style. The real excitement was however experienced in the night life. I have a weakness for excitement and today I fed it and fed myself on other things that I thought that I could not or was not suppose to have—including the Cheese cake ice cream. It was divine. Not to mention the chicken on the stick. It’s interesting to note that there are some things that having them just seem much more attractive. We know that they are not meant for us and even the fact that we know that there are beyond limits drives us even the more to want to get them. Isn’t much different with sin—is it? I think that the only sin that I could be accused of is over indulging and even that is up for debates. It was all fun and excitement as I enjoyed the company of family and new friends. It was all a time of great feasts and festivity as I saw another way of doing things, another way of living. It is interesting the extreme that people go to make ourselves happy, or at least the extent to which people try to create their happiness. Sometimes in moving so fast there are some things that we do not see. Sometimes it takes someone else to bring our attention to them before we are able to see them. Tonight was NOT one of those nights that I needed to be reminded to be thankful. There is so much for which to be thankful. What about you? What are you excited about? For what are you giving thanks? TIME is running out on the SQUARE. Find something and give thanks to God as we continue on this OUR journey……………

DAY 93 JAMAICA AVE. FREEZING COLD

2008-11-22T21:34:00.000-08:00

Today was so cold that it was HOT. Although this was not the coldest that I have felt it, it was certainly very windy and as such it was very cold. It was freezing hot as I call it. But did this stop me from enjoying myself? No chance. School is now on break for the big holiday next week and as such it was all fun for me with my Hebrew cards tucked into my pocket. As I walked the streets and had some well deserved Jamaican food I felt as if I were home. I kept hearing the legendary Bob Marley and the King of the Dancehall who has conquered not only the mike but also the dance floor in the hearts of many. I felt hearing the words “Welcome to JamRock.” This was certainly Jamaica Avenue. Dumpling, banana, yam and stew chicken was breakfast with dumplings as big as cart wheels. It felt good to be able to have something apart from junk food or Canteen salad bars. It was even more fun to enjoy it with family and friends. What better way to celebrate than in the birthday celebrations? The party was so much fun that when it was time for the children to form the circle to collect sweets from the ‘Pinny” it was hard to tell the children from the adults. It was also hard to tell from the dancing which entertained us. Certainly they gave the Clown a run for his money—and yes they too had a few tricks up their sleeves. There are so many things that we take for granted until we lose them. As I sat and watched the party unfold my mind unraveled a few things as well. What are some of the things that we always have or at least believe that we do and so take for granted? So many persons that we take for granted and never take the time to say that we appreciate them—since we believe that they must know. When was the last time that our heart beat against our chest was seen as the ‘red sea miracle” that we pray for? How else can one explain the red blood cells and white blood cells working in our bodies? It’s a miracle. When was the last time we paused and in the cold or heat thanked God for eyes? Have you ever really wondered how it works? A baby months in the womb who then comes and brings joy, and some times pain. Sometimes pain then joy. Sometimes joy-pain or pain-joy. But not the less a miracle. There are times when we do things and we are seen as clowns and are ridiculed but should the ridicule of persons rob of us doing that which we believe in or should it be the battery that charge us? Should this not be the heater and thermostat that keeps us warm when it gets freezing hot? It’s funny how a little change in the environment can bring about such a change in one’s perspectives. Lord, I believe that each day we are enabled to see more about self, community and you through life’s experiences. May we never wait for the cold days to search for your warm but may we find it each new day in every little way, even in this FREEZING HOT we continue together on OUR journey…………..

DAY 92 PERSPECTIVES

2008-11-21T20:37:00.000-08:00

Today I climbed as far as I could just to see the ‘world’ from a different angle. It was interesting to note that there are some things that until we are standing on the same level with them we are unable to see and appreciate them. And so as I stood at this plain and watch this from another level it was interesting. It was interesting, breath-taking and sometimes frightening to see the things that I saw. Sometimes I felt as if the ground under my feet was 'giving way' and at other times such movements perceived or real paled in significant to the perspective that I was afforded. It was expensive but it was worth the experience. It’s all about perspectives. It’s all about the perspectives from which we see some things. But does this mean that life would be better for everybody if we all saw things from the same perspective--or would this not leave to boredom? Does it mean that there is still the need for diversity in how we interpret the experiences that we have and the experiences of others? How much levage should we take in interpreting all experiences--'sacred' and 'secular'? How important is it for us to interpret our experiences as soon as we have them and to what extend do we find that the perspective that we have after the act changes from that which we held while we were going through the fact. It’s interesting the way that we see people and attribute things of honour to them after their death—sometimes in ways that we would never see them if they were still alive. Somewhat like the way we iconoclast Nesta “Bob” Marley and.......

From what perspective should my ‘friend’ Tabitha Mullings respond to the fact that she walked into the Brooklyn Hospital for minor complains and now is pushed out with both hands and feet amputated as well as one damaged eye. How should she see this situation and from what perspective? From what perspective should the hospital respond to the $100 M lawsuit? Hmmmm. It’s all about perspectives—is it?

Well, I thank God for the chance that I have been afforded to have seen the world from another perspective. I thank God for Aunt Ver and Cuz Karrien. From whatever perspective we see the world, circumstances, situations, crises it is for sure that as soon as we land and leave from the raised platform our perspectives will never be the same again. We are now more able to see things through different lenses.

Lord, thank you for such opportunity to get closer to you. Teach us O Lord that “Sermons on the Mount” are such as meaningful and effective as those on the “Plain.” May we never lose sight of the fact that wherever we are and whatever perspective we view that you are there and you are God. May we find true meaning in your words “This is your Captain speaking.” May we also never deprave ourselves of the joy of using such perspectives to challenge our positions and deepen our relationships with you—as we continue on this OUR journey…………….

DAY 91 GIVING on ABBY's BIRTHDAY

2008-11-20T23:21:00.000-08:00

It’s better to give than to receive. But how can one give without receiving in the process. It is better to give than to receive because in giving we also receive. But doesn’t the person who receives also give?

But is it always better to give than to receive? I think that whenever we give to receive then the adage is abused and so are the persons to whom we ‘give’—if it can be considered giving. When I give with the idea that it is better to give than to receive because the person can’t give to me then there really is no giving but mere patronizing. When we give but refuse to receive then the giving is robbed of the experience of depth and the process remains incomplete.
But does this mean that it is any better to give and expect to receive? Of course not for then the giving that we intended becomes elusive and instead we gain. We gain become now persons become or at least, we make them feel indebted. Yeah, we give but we gain slaves. We should never give with the expectation that we will receive. A wise man once asked “Can a gift be given?”.

Today we met to listen to the stories of those who worked with “Humane Borders” as a Christian response to the inhumane and hostile tracks that are daily walked by hundreds from Mexico who try to make it across into the North American Soil. The coveted land of milk and honey mixed with the blood of the weak and ill-represented. As we listened to the stories of how children, men and women—pregnant women walk the 30 miles journey some three days in changing climate and courses, I was reminded that this is better to give than receive. Give without the Hollywood Conundrum of light, camera and action. Give as Christ gave.

And so in the night we had a party for and with Abby as she celebrated her birthday. Poems and songs and games were played as laughter and fruit punch was shared. It was a great giving experience. No one who came and gave left without receiving.

Abby is seen giving here as she celebrates HER birthday as a GIFT from GOD. Lord, teach us how to give and not recognise that we have given. For in doing so we truly give, on this OUR journey……….

DAY 90 TAUNTING THANKSGIVING

2008-11-19T19:37:00.000-08:00

In exactly one week Americans all over the world will be celebrating the biggest American holiday ever. It will be time to take out the TURKEY and say goodbye to the CHICKENS. It will be a grand celebration as all the finest utensils and cutleries will be paraded. Indeed it will be “China comes to Town”. It will be a day for much celebration and much reflection. Before there is the mad rush, as which will follow, the following day misconstrued as “Black Friday” allow me the space to give voice from today.

There is so much for which to be thankful. There is indeed so much that we have enjoyed as a people as a nation and as a world. There is so for which animals are thankful and this they express—as we interpret—by the wagging of their tail and the spreading of their legs. No pun. Dogs come and wag and cats come and in an eagle-like fashion spread their legs as they hold their heads over and sprawl.

But today, like last week, I paused to think about those who for one reason or another cannot be thankful. I don’t think that we should tell them ‘You must be thankful God has been so good to you’ when their bodies are inflicted with cancer or AIDS from a partner with whom they have been faithful all their years. I don’t think that we should demand that they be faithful when they are still mourning the death of their family members in the Jim Jones Massacre some twenty years ago to date. I don’t think that we should chastise them for being so 'un-grateful' because they can’t see the things the same way that we do. Who knows maybe if we were to be a bit more honest we would see that we aren’t as thankful as we prevent to be.

Jesus said “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted”. But how do we deal with the mourning of others when we ourselves have not dealt with the pain that we bear? How do we deal with the blessing when we have not accepted the fact that we are hurting and that we are in need of ‘re-pair’? How do we deal with the fact that there is so much comfort that can be found in solidarity as oppose to simply preventing as if it does not hurt as hell. Thanksgiving is around the corner. Let us be thankful. But if there are those who can’t—now—for one reason or another give thanks in the same way that we do, let us appreciate that. Remember that! Remember that they will be comforted. You might be the one to comfort them. My hope is that you’re not the one--we are the one to comfort--not to condemn them.

As we sit in our stables and with advent baited-breath for this Thanksgiving, let us be thankful for the different ways in which we treat the differences in our lives. Remember that not because you are the Turkey that that makes them, the other, the Chicken. It will be great as we take it together on this OUR jOURney……………

DAY 89 WORSHIP IN ALL OUR WAYS/DAYS

2008-11-18T18:40:00.000-08:00

Today was really a beautiful day. Yesterday was dark and I was told that this was what the rest of the winter will look like but not so. Today was gorgeous. I could not believe that it was a freezing 30 degree Celsius. The only thing that gave it away was the fact that the tension in the Hebrew exam was so ‘HOT’. The exam was rough but since I spent most of last night trying to ‘beat’ the books I am hoping that I will see my labour pay off. Don’t you just hate that you do all the work—or at least so it seems and then the grades or result in whatever field just doesn’t seem to reflect that. Hmmmmm. Such is life.
There are always other areas and subjects like Contemp Theology and Formation and Education that make you feel as if there is something happening. I hope that you too can find that subject, that someone, that event, that place where it seems as if all that you have done and all that you are doing is worth the while—it’s important to have that place.

Sometimes we find that place and sometimes in solace God meets us at that place and reminds us as only God can that we are special and that there is no like us. Isn’t that refreshing in the hustle and bustle to hear that you are special and that you are worthwhile? Yes, is it! It sure is. That is how I felt in worship today. I have not felt that way in quite some time. It was good to go straight to class and present on symbols that remind us of the presence of God. It is always good to have these ‘hands on days’. There were some very interesting symbols and name tags that were made as persons choose to make tags that reminded them and reaffirmed their place and importance in God’s Kingdom here on earth.

It was a beautiful day. A creative day. A gorgeous day. A day in which the presence of God as Mother, Father, Creator, Sustainer, Provider and Friend was experienced. It is my hope that you too experienced God. No doubt you did.

Tomorrow is unknown—to us at least. Let’s hold hands as together we hope for the best as we continue on this OUR journey……….

DAY 88 FLURRIES

2008-11-17T23:11:00.000-08:00

I saw my first taste of snow today. It was beautiful. Unfortunately, it was not enough for me to catch some for the blog via picture.

DAY 87 I AM BLANK

2008-11-16T23:11:00.000-08:00

The change in the weather here is literally frightening. Last night was one of the darkest that I have seen it. It was so dark that I believed the weather forecast when it said this time “We will be having some snow” or “We might be having some snow”. Well, unless Santa robbed me of my snows with my eyes closed there was no snow, maybe show flurries, but now even that did I see. But when I looked outside the window this morning I understood why with such a beautiful day why it might not have snowed the night before. I lightly got dressed for Church. By the end of the first half of the Harvest service there was n o sunlight and it was so cold outside that the glass of the Church door beckoned for a sweater or a Good will coat. It was a cold day outside but the fellowship of the sisters and brothers from Mount Nebo and Rock of Ages for the afternoon service was refreshingly warm and fruitful. Speaking of fruitful, it is good when we get to see other places and other cultures and ‘ways’ of doing things for we get to learn or are once again reminded that the way we do things is not the same everywhere. For example, who would have thought that there could be a harvest without ingathering of ground provisions and bakes products and some in tale of some kind? Well, I guess only a Jamaican Baptist who has experienced the richness of the rural harvest and also have some appreciation for a similar richness demonstrated in the harvest at my home church—though far from rural—in some instances and behaviors. It was a fruitful day and there shall be more fruit in seasons to come. Pastor Adams of the Rock of Ages Church—and his wife—reminded us in the sermon of John’s account of Jesus’ prophetic words ‘unless a seed falls to the ground and die it can bear no fruit’. They reminded us that we too have being called to die. What can we die today? It has nothing to do with the number of suicides that are plaguing the Indianapolis family in recent days—with one school losing three persons—including a teacher. Instead it is actually the opposite. It is a life of selflessness, of obedience, of giving up with the hope and assurance that God will take care of you. It is the carrying of the cross, drinking of the cup and surrendering of one’s will so that the community’s good will supersede that of one’s own.

As I listened a song tonight I heard the voice of a fellow Baptist colleague, Rev Garry Knowles. He would ask with a look which suggested some amount of theological assertion and command ‘What is the theology of that song?’. His question resounded in my head as I listened to the song which explicitly said Lord although there is all this economic crisis and the man ravages the street homeless and hungry, I thank you Lord, Lord I thank you for taking care of me. Such words should be rubbished eternally.

Another day in the land of the living. Another day to see God in all God’s people and songs and testimonies. I wonder how these testimonies would be recorded for years to come? Hmmm. We thank God for the testimonies of Christ’s disciples and the message that they bear. We use these as a source of guardian as we continue on this OUR journey……………

DAY 86 STRANGE DOOR OPENS

2008-11-15T22:10:00.000-08:00

“There is a way that seems right to a man but the end thereof is death and destruction.” These are the words that flooded my mind as I walked through a door that I had passed for weeks. In fact, it was a door that was beside another door that whenever I had too much to drink or whenever it got too cold I was forced to use. Two doors—one was always used. The events that unfolded by, through and after this door strangely inspired by subsequent photo-shoot. (hahahahahahah). Screams……..

Today, for the first time I recognized that the next door to the other door was an entrance to an elevator. As I was elevated in it I felt as if more of my being was going down as my anxieties escalated. “It is the weekend and it would be easier to find a needle in a hay sack that it would be to find me if I were to be stuck in this elevator”, were the words that plummeted within as I went up. As it came to a pause I could not believe it—the door would NOT open. I waited and waited. And waited. Nothing. Nada. Ouk elpis, I cried as tears welled up within me. I could not believe this. All these weeks I had ignored this door, did not even recognize it, but today, of all days I was stuck. I could not believe it. I waited and waited and waited. And waited. And then it happened. I could not believe it as I saw one of my fingers leaving from a button that had “Open” written on it, and there it was the door was open.

Could there be a lesson that I was suppose to learn on this dark day in Indianapolis? Could it be that it was a reminder that the Bible speaks too to the fact that ‘some doors’ should never be entered—should never be opened? Could it be, could it be that the absented minded days of seeing but not seeing were better than the days when through incidents, co-incidence and other ‘dents’ our eyes become open to ‘good and evil’. But is there a reason why One or one should fear our eyes being open? Should be stick to the same old door and reject the desire to 'knock and seek and find'?

Hmmm……today I opened a door which led to new beginning. I closed it and hope never to open it again and we take small steps, steps of sober faith on this OUR journey………..

DAY 85 PREGNANT PAUSES

2008-11-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

There are few words to describe the day that I had. Mixed-up, lousy, dark, restful, peaceful are perhaps some of the best words that come to mind. It began very dark since there was rain all night and this continued throughout the day. But it was also restful—well almost until I turned on the TV and saw the abc Barbara Walters Special. It was the Thomas Beattie story. He was the pregnant man who was seen on Oprah some months ago. I was petrified. I was moved. I was shocked. There were several pregnant pauses as I sat there with my rich Western ethic piety trying to fathom and make sense of that which I saw before by eyes. I was drawn in as I listened to the couple speak about what constitutes love and family and what’s a man as oppose to a woman. It was interesting to say the least. By the way he’s pregnant again. For more info see http://www.mahalo.com/Thomas_Beattie or go to Google and look up Thomas Beattie. There will be several pregnant pauses as you read and watch that which only the eyes can see but maybe the mind cannot fathom. Yes, some things are beyond me—even me!

We live in a world in which there are so many issues that show us for which there are hardly any easy answer. These are some of life’s challenging questions that we face today. Maybe tomorrow these will be the ‘normal’ way. Hmmm. In seems as if we are living in yet another Enlightenment period. Or it is?

The darkness has become a permanent, though unwelcomed here in Indianapolis while there are so many who are having a bright and shining day in other parts of this created world.

By the way the dog that I sat beside some time ago at Butler University which is next door to CTS is the Butler Moscot. Two of their moscots were stolen. They were returned tonight. Who would steal a dog mascot?

Continue on this Our journey…………..

DAY 84 GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOUR

2008-11-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

It was 9: 38 am when I was dragged myself from the warm comfort of a blanket and its accompanying dream into the mixed feeling into the reality of a cold day. Don’t get me wrong I am thankful to be living in the land of the dead. My dream was about my return to UTC and my reality was that I was still here—right here in Indianapolis at CTS. Like a caterpillar struggling within a cacoon I fought as I tried to hold onto the warmth of the known as my mind raced ahead fearful of the flying incests that the day might bring. What about Hebrew and papers to complete and midgets. There is no doubt in my mind that Freud’s hypothesis concerning dreams no longer applied to my dreams now some decades later. As I went throughout the day I remembered that there was an earlier dream in which I laughed and celebrated with cousin and aunt hopefuls—Kerrien and Ver. Well, maybe that was on my mind. Who knows.

The day went by quickly and for the first in a long time I was glad to learn Hebrew especially with an exam in less than a week. But this was not the reason why I sat in the library at minutes to 4 pm. It was another subject with Pastor James Jackson. It’s strange the way that things work out. They were familiar words, in fact, words which usually bring closure to a conversation or intended conversation via email. But here they were words being spoken by an elderly man with a posture like that of the woman in Luke 13. Simple words but yet words that were like water in an arid desert, like sunlight in a cold winter, like light into the darkness of time. It does not mean that dryness is inferior to water or cold winter to the summer sunlight but usually we see the light into the darkness, especially in Genesis as indicative of something bad. No wonder the oppressive way of perceiving Ham’s race continues. Even the darkness is as light to you O Lord?

I peace of the Lord be with you………as we continue on this j-OUR-ney……….

DAY 83 GOD's WEAKNESS AS GOD's POWER

2008-11-12T17:39:00.000-08:00

It was sleep sleep sleep for today. I got up early at minutes after 6 and so after doing some work on my proposal for Christology and my first draft for Formation and Education in the Christian Church, I went straight to bed. I did not get back up until minutes after 5 for my 6 pm class. Well, of course I got my lunch there was no way that that would have missed me—not that it was anything to ‘blog about’. I am trying more and more to eat healthy and so it was more salad and a piece of pie that I will complete later.

As usual Contemporary Theology at 6 pm was controversial, conflicting and conversational. I enjoyed it—for what its worth. As we examined John Caputo’s The Weakness of God it was interesting to hear the ideas about a God who is commonly perceived and taught as Strong to be presented as the weak being. He is convinced that God is an event or harbors an event, and that theology is the hermeneutics of that event, its task being to release what is happening in that name, to set it free…….” Captuto believes that one of the main ideologies from which God should be released and set free is that of a powerful Being. Caputo married Paul’s 1st Corinthians 1: 25, 27-28 ideas to Derrida’s idea to argue that God is weak. Paul Writes “For the foolishness of God is wiser than [human], and the weakness of God is stronger than [human]…..but God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong. God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are.” Caputo argues that in this there is a God who through an incomplete creation continues to work through the Sabbath as a ‘Seventh-Day Eventist’ [p, 129]. God is therefore an Event that is incomplete and continues from day to day.

I do not mean to advertise a book or bore your readers but I do mean to share the idea that God is weak and is perhaps best presented in Caputo’s idea that this is exemplified through forgiveness. Following the idea that a gift is not a gift if reciprocity of some sort of some sort is expected. Hmmm! Good point. But is it not also true to say that what Caputo sees as the weakness of God is really God’s strength and God’s re-interpreting and re-classifying of weak and strong as the world taught. For isn’t it true that in the same that Caputo as come to see God as weak that God can and might every well use this myopic perspective as reclassify it to become that which is strong; following Caputo’s weak argument of course. Well, Caputo might never be privileged to read this blog but since you can share your thoughts I would love to hear them as, with internet down at home, but working at College, I use this resource to share my thoughts as together we continue with a powerful God on this OUR journey…….

DAY 82 A WET TUESDAY

2008-11-11T22:10:00.000-08:00

As you can imagine the weather is changing and so I woke to a wet tuesday. I am however grateful that though wet outside the day was nothing short of dry and beautiful, except for one short problem. Some people just have a gift to upset others. You know what I mean for very often that some 'people' might be me. Well, with that 'short' matter aside, let's focus on the true statures of significance of the day.

Chapel was really interesting today. I really enjoyed the message preached by Dr. Brian Grant, lecturer within the Psychology Department here at CTS. Classes were also cool--not wet. In a world that is filled with so many differences and so many comfort zones where do we find and make place for inclusion? Where can we find or create a ‘safe zone’ for the person who is seen as disruptive and loud in our Sunday Morning Divine Service? Where is the grace zone in all of this? Today was a day to consider the need to be inclusive and show grace in the same way that Jesus challenges and encourages us to do. Imagine having a child that is a boy by sex but who at age eight desires to be dressed as a girl because he feels like a girl. What would you do? What should we do? The situation is compounded because of the fact that the ‘parents’ are two males. No, he was adopted! What do we do when we see a mentally ill person rush into the Church service? To what extent should we extend the doors to welcome and attempt to help this man and where do we draw the margins and the boundaries? These were some of the many challenging questions that we discussed as a class in Formation and Education as we discussed Eric Law’s Inclusion: Making Room for Grace. As I said before it was a wet day outside but there was much heat within the buildings and classrooms—good for the most part. . By the way, what do you see here? Please tell me what we call it in Jamaica and also calculate theprice as shown at $J75 to $US1. Things expensive in Jamaica? Think again! (DWL). There is no telling what kind of day we will have when we ‘get up’ in the mornings. There is no telling what kind of people we might meet. Some may be tall and affirming others might be short and irritating.

Friedrich Nietzsche was righte "That which does not destroy us makes us stronger".
In all of this we are reminded as the Psalmist that “You, [O Lord], know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar.” Psalm 139: 1. In this we find our confidence as we continue on this OUR journey……….

DAY 81 WOW

2008-11-10T23:39:00.000-08:00

Hi Mondays is really the day when I get to do all the things that I want to go and that was exactly what I did with today. I read, spoke with Garfield and Roshell online and best of all I spoke with Mom and Wayne and was able to give the 'uncley advice' which I pride myself in being able to give to Wayne. It was a good day. I also did one of the things that I love to do--I had a wonderful photoshoot--in the library.
Yeah, it was beautiful. Of course I am having problems with the internet system at home and so I was at the library until late.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

It is now minutes to ten and the day has been a good day. I am not sure what I will ne doing with the rest of the night but I am sure that it will be a good night—I have to make it that good night. It was good to hear from Rev. Luke Shaw. What was really interesting is that for the past few days I have been praying for him, even more than how I have been praying fro myself. As I read the email I now saw understood why I was praying for him. His mother has passed on and I am praying for him. It was also good to learn the nick name of the next First Family of the United States. Mr. Obama will be known as "Renegade" (move over, Lorenzo Lamas). Michelle, a woman of many talents, will be referred to as "Renaissance." Malia Obama's name will be "Radiance," while little sister Sasha's will be "Rosebud."

Let us pray: Lord, we thank you that even in times when we can’t find words to describe you and express what we really believe that you use the circumstances and situations in our lives to teach us about yourself—as a God who is beyond words, beyond emotions, beyond theories, beyond confusion—though not completely separate. Indeed you are the ‘more’ of our lives. Thank you, oh Lord for being the chief Guide and Companion on this OUR journey………

DAY 80: I AM

2008-11-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

Well, some things just don’t stop giving problem and the internet here is one such thing. Nevertheless it was a good day with some rest. As usual I worshipped at the Mount Nebo Baptist Church. The message title ‘Seek God’. Such an interesting title which was unpacked as the Minister, James Jackson II.

The evening one a dark and cold evening and so I was very happy to have invited some friends over for dinner. We had jerk chicken and baked chicken which was well done—I even surprised myself. I thank God that even in the times of darkness and the cold experiences in our lives that there is a presence and assurance that we can find in God through God’s creation, best of all friends and families.

I hoped that I would have been able to hear from Mom and others today but with the system down I guess that I will have to do so some other time. Don’t stop now we are almost over. Don’t stop now. There is no me without you and so there is need for U to continue with me on this OUR journey………………

DAY 79 AUGUSTINE'S CRY

2008-11-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

I felt as if Augustine peaked into time and saw my turbulent unrestful toss and spin night when he penned the words “I am restless until I find my rest in you.” For hours I ‘tossed ad spinned’ as I tried to make sense of the conflict that I faced within. As I tried to make sense of the Christological jungle in which I ‘found’ myself—in which myself was. It hardly can be said that I found myself or found any clues or answers to either my Christological concerns or the other concerns. yeah, those concerns! Since I still wait to be found, I waited without resting. This can be one of the great headaches of trying to find yourself over and over again even as you try to find or at least begin to find meaning of God; trying to find God in Christ. For us as Christians this is important. “Not again”, I hear you say. But yes, again. Again and again as I seek to transform information into knowledge. Yes, again. Again and again as I seek to limbo, to create or make sense of that which is in my head and that which is in my mind—my heart. Yes, again. Again and again as the Jesus of History and the Christ of Faith both appear to me as dramatically opposites. Perceptions isn’t reality. I wanted to but wouldn’t cry ‘this would have been so much easier five months ago’ but I couldn’t for deep down I knew that such escape mechanism response would not only be one of total affect but also an overgrown feel of inadequacy to articulate that which I surmise about the unknown. Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul. And so it is 6 am and I have been up six (6) times in the last four hours. Restless, tormented, fearful of dementia but cognizant of its nearness if constant torture of self were to prevail.

So many issues.

As the evening came and the struggles persist I decided to go for a walk with my friend Abby.
It was a dark evening as the sun of yesterday was never seen today. The darkness however did not determine the beautiful evening that we shared. It was my first evening at the BLUE LAGOON and the first time that I was meeting a Jamaican in Indianapolis. It was a delicious evening as we feasted on oxtail, jerk chicken, plantains, festivals and rice and peas. There was also kola champaigne and Red Stripe.

Never allow the Spiritual Walls to come crashing down. It makes it difficult to live and breathe and enjoy this OUR journey.......